lance of what I intended should be
most withering scorn on the assembly; but alas! my infernal harlequin
costume ruined the effect; and confound me, if they did not laugh the
louder. I turned from one to the other with the air of a man who marks
out victims for his future wrath; but with no better success; at last,
amid the continued mirth of the party, I made my way towards where Waller
stood absolutely suffocated with laughter, and scarcely able to stand
without support.

"Waller," said I, in a voice half tremulous with rage and shame together;
"Waller, if this rascally trick be yours, rest assured no former term of
intimacy between us shall--"

Before I could conclude the sentence, a bustle at the door of the room,
called every attention in that direction; I turned and beheld Colonel
Kamworth, followed by a strong posse comitatus of constables, tipstaffs,
&c., armed to the teeth, and evidently prepared for vigorous battle.
Before I was able to point out my woes to my kind host, he burst out
with--

"So you scoundrel, you impostor, you damned young villain, pretending to
be a gentleman, you get admission into a man's house and dine at his
table, when your proper place had been behind his chair.--How far he
might have gone, heaven can tell, if that excellent young gentleman, his
master, had not traced him here this morning--but you'll pay dearly for
it, you young rascal, that you shall."

"Colonel Kamworth," said I, drawing myself proudly up, (and I confess
exciting new bursts of laughter,) "Colonel Kamworth, for the expressions
you have just applied to me, a heavy reckoning awaits you; not, however,
before another individual now present shall atone for the insult he has
dared to pass upon me." Colonel Kamworth's passion at this declaration
knew no bounds; he cursed and swore absolutely like a madman, and vowed
that transportation for life would be a mild sentence for such iniquity.

Waller at length wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes, interposed
between the colonel and his victim, and begged that I might be forgiven;
"for indeed my dear sir," said he, "the poor fellow is of rather
respectable parentage, and such is his taste for good society that he'd
run any risk to be among his betters, although, as in the present case
the exposure brings a rather heavy retribution, however, let me deal with
him. Come, Henry," said he, with an air of insufferable superiority,
"take my tilbury into town, and wait for