houldn't have thought you capable of that
distinction, my brave subordinate."

Poiret [trying to get away]. "Incomprehensible!"

Bixiou. "La, la, papa, don't step on your tether. If you stand still and
listen, we shall come to an understanding before long. Now, here's an
axiom which I bequeath to this bureau and to all bureaus: Where the
clerk ends, the functionary begins; where the functionary ends, the
statesman rises. There are very few statesmen among the prefects. The
prefect is therefore a neutral being among the higher species. He comes
between the statesman and the clerk, just as the custom-house officer
stands between the civil and the military. Let us continue to clear up
these important points." [Poiret turns crimson with distress.] "Suppose
we formulate the whole matter in a maxim worthy of Larochefoucault:
Officials with salaries of twenty thousand francs are not clerks. From
which we may deduce mathematically this corollary: The statesman first
looms up in the sphere of higher salaries; and also this second and
not less logical and important corollary: Directors-general may be
statesmen. Perhaps it is in that sense that more than one deputy says
in his heart, 'It is a fine thing to be a director-general.' But in the
interests of our noble French language and of the Academy--"

Poiret [magnetized by the fixity of Bixiou's eye]. "The French language!
the Academy!"

Bixiou [twisting off the second button and seizing another]. "Yes, in
the interests of our noble tongue, it is proper to observe that although
the head of a bureau, strictly speaking, may be called a clerk, the head
of a division must be called a bureaucrat. These gentlemen" [turning
to the clerks and privately showing them the third button off Poiret's
coat] "will appreciate this delicate shade of meaning. And so, papa
Poiret, don't you see it is clear that the government clerk comes to
a final end at the head of a division? Now that question once settled,
there is no longer any uncertainty; the government clerk who has
hitherto seemed undefinable is defined."

Poiret. "Yes, that appears to me beyond a doubt."

Bixiou. "Nevertheless, do me the kindness to answer the following
question: A judge being irremovable, and consequently debarred from
being, according to your subtle distinction, a functionary, and
receiving a salary which is not the equivalent of the work he does, is
he to be included in the class of clerks?"

Poiret [gazing at th