was
weighing on my heart all night, and that I am not a murderer now!
Gentlemen, she is my betrothed!" he said ecstatically and reverently,
looking round at them all. "Oh, thank you, gentlemen! Oh, in one minute
you have given me new life, new heart!... That old man used to carry me in
his arms, gentlemen. He used to wash me in the tub when I was a baby three
years old, abandoned by every one, he was like a father to me!..."

"And so you--" the investigating lawyer began.

"Allow me, gentlemen, allow me one minute more," interposed Mitya, putting
his elbows on the table and covering his face with his hands. "Let me have
a moment to think, let me breathe, gentlemen. All this is horribly
upsetting, horribly. A man is not a drum, gentlemen!"

"Drink a little more water," murmured Nikolay Parfenovitch.

Mitya took his hands from his face and laughed. His eyes were confident.
He seemed completely transformed in a moment. His whole bearing was
changed; he was once more the equal of these men, with all of whom he was
acquainted, as though they had all met the day before, when nothing had
happened, at some social gathering. We may note in passing that, on his
first arrival, Mitya had been made very welcome at the police captain's,
but later, during the last month especially, Mitya had hardly called at
all, and when the police captain met him, in the street, for instance,
Mitya noticed that he frowned and only bowed out of politeness. His
acquaintance with the prosecutor was less intimate, though he sometimes
paid his wife, a nervous and fanciful lady, visits of politeness, without
quite knowing why, and she always received him graciously and had, for
some reason, taken an interest in him up to the last. He had not had time
to get to know the investigating lawyer, though he had met him and talked
to him twice, each time about the fair sex.

"You're a most skillful lawyer, I see, Nikolay Parfenovitch," cried Mitya,
laughing gayly, "but I can help you now. Oh, gentlemen, I feel like a new
man, and don't be offended at my addressing you so simply and directly.
I'm rather drunk, too, I'll tell you that frankly. I believe I've had the
honor and pleasure of meeting you, Nikolay Parfenovitch, at my kinsman
Miuesov's. Gentlemen, gentlemen, I don't pretend to be on equal terms with
you. I understand, of course, in what character I am sitting before you.
Oh, of course, there's a horrible suspicion ... hanging over me ... if
Grigory h