you!

|frank|
"It is the cause." I mean your chaperon is
Bringing some well-curled juvenile. Adieu!
_I_ shall retire. I'd spare that poor Adonis,
If I were you!

|nellie|
Go, if you will. At once! And by express, Sir!
Where shall it be? To China--or Peru?
Go. I should leave inquirers my address, Sir,
If I were you!

|frank|
No--I remain. To stay and fight a duel
Seems, on the whole, the proper thing to do--
Ah, you are strong,--I would not then be cruel,
If I were you!

|nellie|
One does not like one's feelings to be doubted,--

|frank|
One does not like one's friends to misconstrue,--

|nellie|
If I confess that I a wee-bit pouted?

|frank|
I should admit that I was _pique_, too.

|nellie|
Ask me to dance. I'd say no more about it,
If I were you!

[Waltz--_Exeunt_.]

_Austin Dobson._

NOTHING TO WEAR.

Miss Flora McFlimsey, of Madison Square,
Has made three separate journeys to Paris;
And her father assures me, each time she was there,
That she and her friend Mrs. Harris
(Not the lady whose name is so famous in history,
But plain Mrs. H., without romance or mystery)
Spent six consecutive weeks without stopping,
In one continuous round of shopping;--
Shopping alone, and shopping together,
At all hours of the day, and in all sorts of weather:
For all manner of things that a woman can put
On the crown of her head or the sole of her foot,
Or wrap round her shoulders, or fit round her waist,
Or that can be sewed on, or pinned on, or laced,
Or tied on with a string, or stitched on with a bow,
In front or behind, above or below;
For bonnets, mantillas, capes, collars, and shawls;
Dresses for breakfasts, and dinners, and balls;
Dresses to sit in, and stand in, and walk in,
Dresses to dance in, and flirt in, and talk in;
Dresses in which to do nothing at all;
Dresses for winter, spring, summer, and fall,--
All of them different in color and pattern,
Silk, muslin, and lace, crape, velvet, and satin,
Brocade, and broadcloth, and other material
Quite as expensive and much more ethereal:
In short, for all things that could ever be thought of,
Or milliner, modiste, or tradesman be bought of,
From ten-thousand-francs robes to twenty-sous frills;
In all quarters of Paris, and to every store:
Wh