ks in. "Just think: one begins by putting
two lives in jeopardy."

"Let's pass over that," I says hasty.

He sighs. "If we only could," says he. "And then---- Well, there you
are--saddled with the task of caring for another human being, of keeping
him in good health, of molding his character, of planning and directing
his whole career, from boyhood on."

"Some are girls, though," I suggests.

He shudders. "So much the worse," says he. "Girl babies are such
delicate creatures; all babies are, in fact. Do you know the average
rate of infant mortality in this country? Just think of the hundreds of
thousands who do not survive the teething period. Imagine the anxieties,
the sleepless nights, the sad little tragedies which come to so many
homes. Then the epidemic diseases--measles, scarlet fever, meningitis.
Let them survive all those, and what has the parent to face but the
battle with other plagues, mental and moral? Think of the number of
weak-minded children there are in the world; of perverts, criminally
inclined. It is staggering. But if you escape all that, if your children
are well and normal, as some are, then you must consider this: Suppose
anything should happen to either or both of the parents? What of the
little boy or girl? You have seen orphan asylums, I suppose. Have you
ever stopped to----"

And then, just as he had me feelin' like I ought to be led out and shot
at sunrise, the old Major comes bustlin' in fussy. I could have fallen
on his neck.

"All ready!" says he. "Now I'll show you a fighting machine, young man,
that is the last word in mechanical genius."

"You can show me anything, Major," says I, "so long as it ain't a morgue
or a State's prison."

And he sure had some boiler-plate bus out there champin' at the bit. It
looked just as frisky as the Flatiron Buildin', squattin' in the middle
of the field, this young Fort Slocum with the caterpillar wheels sunk in
the mud.

"Stuck, ain't she?" I asked the Major.

"We shall see," says he, noddin' to one of his staff, who proceeds to do
a semaphore act with his arms.

An answerin' snort comes from inside the thing, a purry sort of rumble
that grows bigger and bigger, and next I knew, it starts wallowin' right
at us. It keeps comin' and comin', gettin' up speed all the while, and
if there hadn't been a four-foot stone wall between us I'd been lookin'
for a tall tree. I thought it would turn when it came to the wall. But
it don't. It gives a l