at myself. But if you don't say 'Object
matrimony,' some men wouldn't catch the point.

"And so you are out of the San and keeping house again. A brand-new
honeymoon, of course, and cooing doves, and chiming bells, and all the
rest of it. When the rest of us back here write to each other, we say
at the end, 'Carol is well and David is better.' It conveys the idea
of a Thanksgiving service and a hallelujah chorus. It means Good
night, God bless you, and Merry Christmas, all in one.

"By the way, do you remember William Canfield Brewer, the original
advertiser who got moved out when I moved in? Well, between you and
me, almost for a while I did begin to see some charms in matrimony. He
came again, and was properly introduced. And took me for a drive,--it
seems he had just collected his salary,--and he came again, and we went
to the park, and he came again. And that was when I began to see the
halo around the wedding bells. One night he was telling me his
experiences in saving money,--uproariously funny, my dear, for he never
could save more than five dollars a month, and ran in debt fifteen
dollars to encompass it. He said:

"'My wife used to say it was harder work for me to carry my salary home
from the office than to earn it right at the start.'

"I laughed,--I thought of course it was a joke. I guess the laugh was
revealing, for he turned around suddenly and said:

"'You knew I was married, didn't you, Connie?' First time he ever
called me Connie.

"Well, the halo vanished like a flash and hasn't got back yet.

"I said, 'No, I didn't know it.'

"'Why, everybody knows it,' he expostulated.

"'I did not.'

"'We are devoted to each other,' he said, laughing lightly, 'but we
find our devotion wears better at long distance. So she lives wherever
I do not, and we get along like birdies in their little nest. I
haven't seen her for two years.'

"Then he went on with his financial experiences, evidently calling the
subject closed.

"When he started home, he said, 'Well, what shall we do Sunday?'

"'Nothing, together. You are married.'

"'Well, I don't get any fun out of it, do I?'

"'No, maybe not. But I have a hunch I won't get much fun out of it,
either.'

"'I forgot about the parsonage.' He considered a moment. 'All right,
I'll hunt her up and have her get a divorce,' he volunteered cheerfully.

"He was very puzzled and perplexed when I vetoed that. He says I can't
have the true arti