I say, being unconscious that they are evil.
Why should I suspect thoughts that come to me naturally? I want to
know, to understand. I grope about in the dark. It seems to me
sometimes that this whole world is a mystery. I go to Mr. Wynkoop with
my questions, and they only seem to shock him. Why should they? God
must have put all these doubts and wonderings into my mind, and there
must be an answer for them somewhere. Mr. Wynkoop is a good man, I
truly respect him. I want to please him, and I admire his intellectual
attainments; but how can he accept so much on faith, and be content?
Do you really suppose he is content? Don't you think he ever questions
as I do? or has he actually succeeded in smothering every doubt? He
cannot answer what I ask him; he cannot make things clear. He just
pulls up a few, cheap, homely weeds,--useless common things,--when I
beg for flowers; he hands them to me, and bids me seek greater faith
through prayer. I know I am a perfect heathen,--Miss Spencer says I
am,--but do you think it is so awful for me to want to know these
things?"

He permitted his hand to drop upon hers, and she made no motion of
displeasure.

"You merely express clearly what thousands feel without the moral
courage to utter it. The saddest part of it all is, the deeper we
delve the less we are satisfied in our intellectual natures. We merely
succeed in learning that we are the veriest pygmies. Men like Mr.
Wynkoop are simply driven back upon faith as a last resort, absolutely
baffled by an inpenetrable wall, against which they batter mentally in
vain. They have striven with mystery, only to meet with ignominious
defeat. Faith alone remains, and I dare not deny that such faith is
above all knowledge. The pity of it is, there are some minds to whom
this refuge is impossible. They are forever doomed to be hungry and
remain unfed; thirsty, yet unable to quench their thirst."

"Are you a church member?"

"Yes."

"Do you believe those things you do not understand?"

He drew a deep breath, scarcely knowing at that moment how best to
answer, yet sincerely anxious to lead this girl toward the light.

"The majority of men do not talk much about such matters. They hold
them sacred. Yet I will speak frankly with you. I could not state in
words my faith so that it would be clearly apprehended by the mind of
another. I am in the church because I believe its efforts are toward
righteousness, because I b