nt.

I know that it is my duty to go to him and lay his freedom in his
hands; or, barring this, to await the truth from his own lips. Yet
now, when I am alone with him, I am possessed by this terrible new
fear, that he might be true to his own self and me. For to marry one
woman and love another is a shameful act indeed.

Let me look upon my love and ask myself whereof it is made. If I
seek to have this man, knowing his heart to be another's, if I
desire for him rather the silence of cowardice than the nobler
loyalty of truth, why, then, my love is not good love. It is not
love, but a most unholy passion, that places its desire above the
well-being of its object. And yet I can see the right.

Oh! how empty are these dreams, and how the devil in us, the man of
flesh, mocks the God-led spirit that dreamed them!

The blood of the heart is master. We shall never reach perfection.

_July 4th._--They have not met to-day. I was at the Cottage, and we
made merry as best we could. Gabriel laughed. But when I went into
the larder to fetch the bread for tea, I stayed and cried; for he
had laughed otherwise the first day I came.

Oh, what have we done, we two! We set up Truth as our God, believing
that we should right all the wrongs of the world by living clean of
heart and hand and tongue. Where are we now? Falsehood lies thick
upon us, blackening each word, each trifling action. Yes, I went and
cried in the larder, and when I got back to the kitchen Gabriel was
playing with the kittens, a very imp as of old. We laughed, both of
us.

But later, when I came upon him unawares, he sat with head bowed
low, and his white hands clasped on his knee. I closed the door
softly and went home. It rained a little.

I knew, I know that I am cruel, yet,--only one life,--and I love him
so! Only one life, and he loves her so. The road is dark; I cannot
find my way.

_July 6th._--I have been very sinful. I was worse yesterday, if can
be, than before; more blind, unjust, and selfish. Gabriel came to
supper; it had been a hot day, and in the evening we walked
together, we three.

We watched the colours fade from the sky and the blue night deepen;
the little stars came one by one. The wind rose, soft and cool, and
there we stood, we three, under broad Heaven. I fell back a little,
and they went on side by side, silent and still. Not a word, not a
sign, but I knew, I, what peace was upon them, soothing the turmoil
of their blood. Ther