being strictly observed. Sprinkle with cowslips and willow
leaves, insert in a pie-dish and cover with a thick paste of bulrushes
and marsh grass. Then set to bake for three hours, and stick four
pigeons' claws into the crust. Picnic baskets from which the salt has
been omitted may be shredded over the surface instead of parsley.

Mr. Punch has many more recipes equally cheap and excellent, and is
prepared to disclose them to those of his readers who may desire to
practise a rigid economy and at the same time to enjoy an abundance of
good food.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Recruit_ (_with exercising party_). "IF I LETS THE
BLIGHTERS GO THE CORPORAL'LL CUSS ME INTO 'EAPS. AN' IF I 'OLDS ON TO
'EM I'LL BREAK MY BLINKIN' NECK!"]

* * * * *

THE END OF THE STORY.

"Will the soldier who assisted the Gentleman with a motor
cycle and sidecar on the Downs on Tuesday communicate with him
at Greenbank Cemetery."--_Bristol Evening News_.

* * * * *

"Harry Wilson, milkman, of Devonport, has no connection of
any kind with Woodrow Wilson, of United States of
America."_Auckland Paper_.

HARRY is now sorry he wrote.

* * * * *

"The daily rations of the shirkers are:--
Bread . . . . . . . . . . . 9 oz.
(uncooked, including bone)."
_Daily Mail_.

The conscientious objector doesn't seem to be having such a soft time
after all.

* * * * *

TYRTAEUS.

When Sparta's heroes, tired of truce,
The fires of battle woke,
TYRTAEUS sang them golden lays
And bravely on their marching days
His queenly Muse outspoke.
TYRTAEUS' name's come down the years
And did deserve to do,
For so he dried men's eyes of tears,
So loosed their hearts from idle fears,
Stouter they thrust their ashen spears,
Their javelins further threw.

In those fair days TYRTAEUS' song
Was all men had to trust,
But while he hymned the coming fight
They did not wail, "He can't be right,"
They heard and cried, "He must!"
When men of craven soul came in--
Which now may Heaven forbid--
Then stout TYRTAEUS would begin:--
"Mere argument can be no sin,
But whining is; we're going to win."
And so, of course, they did.

TYRTAEUS' heart has ceased to beat,
But stil