bless and be blest,
He might open his chest
By taking a pipe of tobacco.

Politicians so wise,
All ears and all eyes
For news, till their addled pates crack, O!
After puzzling their brains,
Will not get for their pains
The worth of a pipe of tobacco

If your land in the claw
Of a limb of the law
You trust, or your health to a quack, O!
'Tis fifty to one
They're both as soon gone
As you'd puff out a pipe of tobacco.

Life's short, 'tis agreed;
So we'll try from the weed,
Of man a brief emblem to tack, O!
When his spirit ascends,
Die he must,--and he ends
In dust, like a pipe of tobacco.

_From "The Universal Songster, or Museum of Mirth."_

IF I WERE KING.

If I were king, my pipe should be premier.
The skies of time and chance are seldom clear,
We would inform them all, with bland blue weather.
Delight alone would need to shed a tear,
For dream and deed should war no more together.

Art should aspire, yet ugliness be dear;
Beauty, the shaft, should speed with wit for feather;
And love, sweet love, should never fall to sere,
If I were king.

But politics should find no harbour near;
The Philistine should fear to slip his tether;
Tobacco should be duty free, and beer;
In fact, in room of this, the age of leather,
An age of gold all radiant should appear,
If I were king.

W.E. HENLEY.

THE PIPE YOU MAKE YOURSELF.

There's clay pipes an' briar pipes an' meerschaum pipes as well,
There's plain pipes an' fancy pipes--things jes made to sell;
But any pipe that kin be bought fer marbles, chalk, or pelf,
Ain't ekal to the flaver of th' pipe you make yourself.

Jest take a common corn cob an' whittle out the middle,
Then plug up one end of it as tight as any fiddle;
Fit a stem into th' side an' lay her on th' shelf,
An' when she's dry you take her down, that pipe you made yourself.

Cram her full clar to th' brim with nachral leaf, you bet--
'T will smoke a trifle better for bein' somewhat wet--
Take your worms and fishin' pole, and a jug along for health,
An' you'll get a taste o' heaven from that pipe you made yourself.

There's clay pipes an' briar pipes an' meerschaum pipes as well,
There's plain pipes an' fancy pipes--things jes made to sell;
But any pipe that kin be bought for marbles, chalk, or pel