ee guide-books, _passim_, eh? Hanged if _I_ can
see; any structures with this thing on, though! Let's have it off,
eh? (_He crawls out and addresses Gondolier across the top._) _Hi!
Otez-moi ceci, entendez-vous?_ (_Drums on roof of felze with fists;
the Gondolier replies in a torrent of Italian._) Now a London cabby
would see what I wanted at once. This chap's a fool!

[Illustration: "Hi! Otez-moi ceci!"]

_Culch._ He probably imagines you are merely expressing your
satisfaction with Venice. And I don't see how you expect him to remove
the entire cabin here! (_PODBURY crawls in again, knocking his head._)
I think we did well to let the--the others travel on first. More
_dignified_, you know!

_Podb._ Um--don't see any particular dignity in missing the train,
myself!

_Culch._ They won't know it was not intentional. And I think, PODBURY,
we should go on--er--asserting ourselves a little while by holding
rather aloof. It will show them that we don't mean to put up with--

_Podb._ Don't see that either. Not going to let that beast, VAN
BOODELER have it _all_ his own way!

_Culch._ Surely you know he decided suddenly to stay at Vicenza?
He said so at breakfast. But I will _not_ have your friend BOB
perpetually--

_Podb._ At breakfast? Oh, I came down late. Vicenza, eh? Then _he_'s
out of it! Hooray! But as for BOB, _he_'s all right too. Oh, I forgot
you cut _dejeuner_. HYPATIA had another squabble with Miss TROTTER,
and poor old BOB got dragged into it as usual, and now they ain't on
speaking terms.

_Culch._ (_overjoyed_). You don't say so! Then all _I_ can say,
PODBURY, is that if we two can't manage, in a place like this, to
recover all the ground we have lost--

_Podb._ More water than ground in a place like this, eh? But _I_ know
what you mean--we _must_ be duffers if we don't leave Venice engaged
men--which we're not as yet, worse luck!

_Culch._ No--but we _shall_ be, if we only insist upon being treated
seriously.

_Podb._ She treats me a devilish deal _too_ seriously, my boy. But
there, never mind--things will go better now!

SCENE--_A double-bedded room in the Grand Hotel, Dandolo,
which PODBURY and CULCHARD have to share for the night._

_Podb._ (_from his bed, suspiciously, to CULCHARD, who is setting
fire to a small pastille in a soap-dish_). I say, old chappie, bar
_fireworks_, you know! What the deuce _are_ you up to over there?

_Culch._ Lighting a "fidibus." Splendid thing to driv