s often as he pleased, and to any extent he
pleased. The amount of self-consultation may be imagined." As proctor
he charged for visiting himself, and as marshal he charged for
receiving visits from himself. As marshal he was paid for instructing
himself, and as proctor he was paid for listening to his own
instructions. Ten shillings and twopence three farthings was the
customary charge for an oath to the effect that he had served a
monition on himself. Of the sheets composing the bill for services of
these sorts presented to him, Lord Cochrane formed a roll which, when
unfolded and exhibited in Parliament, stretched from the Speaker's
table to the bar of the House.

Not content, however, with laughing at the official robberies
committed upon him, he determined, early in 1811, to proceed to Malta
and personally investigate the matter. Reaching Valetta long before he
was expected, he immediately presented himself at the court-house,
and asked for a copy of the table of fees authorized by the Crown,
and which, according to directions, ought to have been placed
conspicuously in the public room. The existence of such a document
being denied, he proceeded to hunt for it himself, and, after long and
careful search, found it concealed in an out-of-the-way corner of
the building. Having taken possession of it, he was carrying off the
prize, which he intended to exhibit in the House of Commons, in token
of the extent to which he and others had been defrauded, when he
was arrested for contempt of court. He protested that the arrest was
illegal, seeing that, as the court had not been sitting, no insult
could have been offered to it. The plea was not accepted, and he
was sent to gaol. No ground for punishment, however, could be found
against him; and, after refusing to help the authorities out of their
embarrassment by going at large on bail, and insisting on a proper
exculpation or nothing at all, he let himself out of window by means
of a rope. A gig was waiting for him, by which he was enabled to
overtake the packet-boat that had quitted Malta shortly before,
to return to London, and to present the document seized by him to
Parliament a month before the official report of his escapade reached
home.[A]

[Footnote A: This letter from the Duke of Kent to Lord Cochrane will
help to show that, even after the time of his Admiralty persecution,
he was not without friends and admirers in high quarters:--"Kensington
Palace, 7th July,