Charlotte colored, and was silent through the meal. She
knew her tongue was sharp; she knew that she was self-willed and was not
humble. But she had not taken herself in hand, religiously; to take
one's self in hand morally, or on grounds of expediency, never amounts
to much; and such taking in hand was all that Charlotte had as yet
attempted. In a little passion of self-reproach and mortification, she
occasionally lopped off ugly shoots; but the root was still vigorous and
lusty, and only grew the better for its petty pruning. Richard looked
very much displeased at his brother's rudeness, and tried to make up
for it by great kindness and attention.

About this time I had become aware of what were Sophie's plans for
Richard. In case he must marry (to be cured of me), he was to marry
Charlotte, who was so capable, so sensible, of so good family, so much
indebted to Sophie, and so decidedly averse to living in the country.
Sophie saw herself still mistress here, with, to be sure, a shortened
income, and Richard and his wife spending a few weeks with her in the
summer. I do not know how far Charlotte entered into these plans.
Probably not at all, consciously; but I became aware that, as a little
girl, Richard had been her hero; and he did not seem to have been
displaced by any one entirely yet. But I took a very faint interest in
all this. I should have cared, probably, if I had seen Richard devoted
to her. He seemed to belong to me, and I should have resented any
interference with my rights. But I did not dread any. I knew, though I
took little pleasure in the knowledge, that he loved me with all his
good and manly heart; and it never seemed a possibility that he
could change.

The simple selfishness of young women in these matters is appalling.
Richard was mine by right of conquest, and I owed him no gratitude for
the service of his life. That other was the lord who had the right
inalienable over me. I bent myself in the dust before him. I would have
taken shame itself as an honor from his hands. I thought of him day and
night. I filled my soul with passionate admiration for his good deeds,
his ill deeds, his all. And the other was as the ground beneath my feet,
of which I seldom thought.

Richard met me at the foot of the stairs, after dinner, as I was going
up.

"Pauline, will you go in the carriage with Charlotte and Sophie? I am
going to drive."

"Oh, it doesn't make any difference," I answered, with confusion