merely run across a room, a whole legion of boys and footmen
would be after me; and if they should kill me, they themselves, and I am
afraid every other person, would give them credit for doing a meritorious
action. But, gentle reader, our character is worse than it should be.
Although we never received any kindness from man, I am sure I can answer
for myself, at least, I have not very often done him mischief for
mischief's sake; and do remember that I did not choose my own form, and
that perhaps I am now doomed to animate it from the contempt and cruelty,
with which, in better days, I may have used the species. But I moralize,
and this does not well suit my present condition. You may think it as
ridiculous an idea as an oyster in love, which, I remember, used to
tickle my fancy. I must only for one moment be allowed to observe, that
man bestows far too much care and attention on that green-eyed monster,
which I do detest--I mean the cat. If we were caressed and made much of
like it, and half so carefully attended to, I am sure we would make a
much better return, and be truly grateful and attached. My friend Buffon
seems perfectly to understand their character, and I must be allowed to
quote a sentence or two from him, which I know will be much more credited
than any thing I could myself say. "They possess," says he, "an innate
malice, and perverse disposition, which increase as they grow up, and
which education teaches them to conceal, but not to subdue. From
determined robbers, the best education can only convert them into
flattering thieves, for they have address, subtlety, and desire of
plunder." ... "They easily assume the habits of society, but never
acquire its manners, for they have only the appearance of attachment and
friendship." And again he says, "the cat appears to have no feelings
which are not interested--to have no affection which is not conditional--
and to carry on no intercourse with man, but with the view of turning it
to his own advantage. Even the tamest are under no subjection, for they
act merely to please themselves."

The dog is a very different animal. He is really attached to his master,
and only lives to serve him. A dog is a perfect gentleman, and I love to
fight with gentlemen.

The Apostle Paul, in his Epistle to the Philippians, says,--"Beware of
dogs!" c. iii. v. 2. Now, I cannot help always having thought, that he
must have meant cats. It is very easy to suppose the Greek word "[Greek