his humour, which he was never able to refill.
He communicated his plan to lord Martin. By his assistance he procured
that implement, which school-boys have denominated a cracker. This his
lordship found an opportunity of attaching to the skirt of Miss Cranley's
sack. At the moment we have described, when she was again going to enter
into the stream of her rhetoric, which, great as it naturally was, was now
somewhat improved with copious draughts of claret, the cracker was set on
fire.
Poor Sophia now started in great agitation. "Bounce, bounce," went the
cracker. Sophia skipped and danced from one end of the room to the other.
"Great gods of Rome," exclaimed she, "Jupiter, Minerva, and all the
celestial and infernal deities!" The force of the cracker was now somewhat
spent. "Ye boys of Britain, that bear not one mark of manhood about you!
Would Leonidas have fastened a squib to the robe of the Spartan mother?
Would Cimber have so unworthily used Portia, the wife of Brutus? Would
Corbulo thus have interrupted the heroic fortitude of Arria, the spouse of
Thrasea Paetus?"
"My dear madam," exclaimed lord Martin, his eyes glistening with triumph,
"with all submission, Corbulo I believe had been assassinated, before
Arria so gloriously put an end to her existence." "Thou thing," cried Miss
Cranky, "and hast thou escaped the torrent of my invective! Thou eternal
blot to the list, in which are inserted the names of a Faulkland, a
Shaftesbury, a Somers, and above all, that Leicester, who so bravely threw
the lie in the face of his sovereign!" "He! he!" cried lord Martin, who
could no longer refrain from boasting of his great atchievement. If I have
escaped your vengeance, let me tell you, madam, you have not escaped
"mine." "And was it thee, thou nincompoop? Hence, thou wretch! Avaunt!
Begone, or thou shalt feel my fury!" Saying this, she clenched her fist,
and closed her teeth, with so threatening an aspect, that the little peer
was very much terrified. He flew back several paces. "My dear Miss
Griskin," said he, "protect me! This barbarous woman does not understand
wit,"--and he precipitately burst out of the room. The lady too was so
much discomposed, that she thought proper to retire, assuring the company
that she would attend them again in a moment.
"Well," cried Miss Griskin, as soon as she had disappeared, "this was the
nicest fun!" "I was afraid," said Miss Prim, "it would have discomposed
Miss Cranley's petticoat
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