in Brooklyn, and then went to sea. Last night he came back, and was
arrested by officer Fox, who will take him before Justice WALSH to-day.
HARPER is disfigured for life."

The matter-of-fact way in which the expression, "a church fight" is used
by the writer of the above item, seems to indicate that tabernacular
conflicts are rather the rule than the exception in "deeply religious"
Brooklyn. We were not prepared to expect, though, that theological
controversy ever ran further in Brooklyn than to the extent of "putting
a head on" one's antagonist, though now it appears that biting his face
off is more the thing. The statement that "HARPER is disfigured for
life," goes for nothing with us, as that depends altogether on what sort
of looking man he was previous to the removal of his features by means
of a dental apparatus.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE "STERN PARENT.

_Daughter_ "WELL, TO TELL THE TRUTH, I DID NOT THINK MUCH OF THE CLOSE
OF THE SERMON."

_Father_. "PROBABLY YOU WERE THINKING MORE OF THE CLOTHES OF THE
CONGREGATION."]

* * * * *

THE WAR.

It is with feeling of intense satisfaction and self complacency, that
Mr. PUNCHINELLO submits to his readers the following despatches relative
to the Great Railroad War, which have been collected at a fabulous cost,
by a large corps of reporters and correspondents specially detailed for
the purpose.

WAR DECLARED!

ERIE PALACE.--It is rumored that the "unpleasantness" which has for some
time past existed between the rival powers of the Erie and the Central,
will shortly culminate in open hostilities. Col. FISK, assisted by
twelve secretaries, is said to be actively engaged in drawing up a
formal Declaration. Great enthusiasm prevails here. The Erie Galop and
FISK Guard March (price 50 cents, including full length portrait of
Capt. SPENCER,) are played nightly in the Opera House, and are
vociferously re-demanded. Every member of the Ninth has been notified to
hold himself in readiness to turn out at fifteen minutes' notice.

LATER.

"Erie accepts the war which VANDERBILT proffers her." The "Blonde
Usher," accompanied by an extensive retinue of brother ushers, will bear
the gauge of battle to the Tyrant of the Central. He will cast It boldly
at VANDERBILT'S feet. It is announced that he will proceed to his
destination by way of the Eighth Avenue Car Line. The reply of the
Hudson River potentat