ought to be more
civil to them, let alone their being half murdered by the Boshes.

MRS O'FLAHERTY. Good men is it! Good men! to come over here when they
were wounded because it was a Catholic country, and then to go to the
Protestant Church because it didn't cost them anything, and some of them
to never go near a church at all. That's what you call good men!

O'FLAHERTY. Oh, you're the mighty fine politician, aren't you? Much you
know about Belgians or foreign parts or the world you're living in, God
help you!

MRS O'FLAHERTY. Why wouldn't I know better than you? Amment I your
mother?

O'FLAHERTY. And if you are itself, how can you know what you never seen
as well as me that was dug into the continent of Europe for six months,
and was buried in the earth of it three times with the shells bursting
on the top of me? I tell you I know what I'm about. I have my own
reasons for taking part in this great conflict. I'd be ashamed to stay
at home and not fight when everybody else is fighting.

MRS O'FLAHERTY. If you wanted to fight, why couldn't you fight in the
German army?

O'FLAHERTY. Because they only get a penny a day.

MRS O'FLAHERTY. Well, and if they do itself, isn't there the French
army?

O'FLAHERTY. They only get a hapenny a day.

MRS O'FLAHERTY [much dashed]. Oh murder! They must be a mean lot, Dinny.

O'FLAHERTY [sarcastic]. Maybe you'd have me in the Turkish army, and
worship the heathen Mahomet that put a corn in his ear and pretended it
was a message from the heavens when the pigeon come to pick it out and
eat it. I went where I could get the biggest allowance for you; and
little thanks I get for it!

MRS O'FLAHERTY. Allowance, is it! Do you know what the thieving
blackguards did on me? They came to me and they says, "Was your son a
big eater?" they says. "Oh, he was that," says I: "ten shillings a week
wouldn't keep him." Sure I thought the more I said the more they'd give
me. "Then," says they, "that's ten shillings a week off your allowance,"
they says, "because you save that by the king feeding him." "Indeed!"
says I: "I suppose if I'd six sons, you'd stop three pound a week from
me, and make out that I ought to pay you money instead of you paying
me." "There's a fallacy in your argument," they says.

O'FLAHERTY. A what?

MRS O'FLAHERTY. A fallacy: that's the word he said. I says to him, "It's
a Pharisee I'm thinking you mean, sir; but you can keep your dirty money
that your king grudges a