inisters of state; and an
upset is to them a greater incident than a change of administration.
Their only point of interest on the road is to save the time, and see
whether the coach keeps the hour. This is surely a miserable degradation
of human intellect. Take my advice, my good sir, and disinterestedly
contrive that once or twice a quarter your most dexterous whip shall
overturn a coachful of these superfluous travellers, IN TERROREM
to those who, as Horace says, "delight in the dust raised by your
chariots."

Your current and customary mail-coach passenger, too, gets abominably
selfish, schemes successfully for the best seat, the freshest egg, the
right cut of the sirloin. The mode of travelling is death to all the
courtesies and kindnesses of life, and goes a great way to demoralize
the character, and cause it to retrograde to barbarism. You allow us
excellent dinners, but only twenty minutes to eat them. And what is the
consequence? Bashful beauty sits on the one side of us, timid childhood
on the other; respectable, yet somewhat feeble, old age is placed on our
front; and all require those acts of politeness which ought to put every
degree upon a level at the convivial board. But have we time--we the
strong and active of the party--to perform the duties of the table to
the more retired and bashful, to whom these little attentions are due?
The lady should be pressed to her chicken, the old man helped to his
favourite and tender slice, the child to his tart. But not a fraction of
a minute have we to bestow on any other person than ourselves; and the
PRUT-PRUT--TUT-TUT of the guard's discordant note summons us to the
coach, the weaker party having gone without their dinner, and the
able-bodied and active threatened with indigestion, from having
swallowed victuals like a Lei'stershire clown bolting bacon.

On the memorable occasion I am speaking of I lost my breakfast, sheerly
from obeying the commands of a respectable-looking old lady, who once
required me to ring the bell, and another time to help the tea-kettle.
I have some reason to think she was literally an OLD-STAGER, who laughed
in her sleeve at my complaisance; so that I have sworn in my secret soul
revenge upon her sex, and all such errant damsels of whatever age and
degree whom I may encounter in my travels. I mean all this without the
least ill-will to my friend the contractor, who, I think, has approached
as near as any one is like to do towards accompl