URE: A Tentative Analysis."

One summer morning a year later, on his ranch, he left his horse and
himself clambered on through a miniature canyon to inspect some rock
ferns he had planted the previous winter. Emerging from the upper end
of the canyon, he came out on one of his flower-spangled meadows, a
delightful isolated spot, screened from the world by low hills and
clumps of trees. And here he found a man, evidently on a stroll from the
summer hotel down at the little town a mile away. They met face to face
and the recognition was mutual. It was Judge Witberg. Also, it was
a clear case of trespass, for Watson had trespass signs upon his
boundaries, though he never enforced them.

Judge Witberg held out his hand, which Watson refused to see.

"Politics is a dirty trade, isn't it, Judge?" he remarked. "Oh, yes,
I see your hand, but I don't care to take it. The papers said I shook
hands with Patsy Horan after the trial. You know I did not, but let me
tell you that I'd a thousand times rather shake hands with him and his
vile following of curs, than with you."

Judge Witberg was painfully flustered, and as he hemmed and hawed and
essayed to speak, Watson, looking at him, was struck by a sudden whim,
and he determined on a grim and facetious antic.

"I should scarcely expect any animus from a man of your acquirements and
knowledge of the world," the Judge was saying.

"Animus?" Watson replied. "Certainly not. I haven't such a thing in my
nature. And to prove it, let me show you something curious, something
you have never seen before." Casting about him, Watson picked up a rough
stone the size of his fist. "See this. Watch me."

So saying, Carter Watson tapped himself a sharp blow on the cheek. The
stone laid the flesh open to the bone and the blood spurted forth.

"The stone was too sharp," he announced to the astounded police judge,
who thought he had gone mad.

"I must bruise it a trifle. There is nothing like being realistic in
such matters."

Whereupon Carter Watson found a smooth stone and with it pounded his
cheek nicely several times.

"Ah," he cooed. "That will turn beautifully green and black in a few
hours. It will be most convincing."

"You are insane," Judge Witberg quavered.

"Don't use such vile language to me," said Watson. "You see my bruised
and bleeding face? You did that, with that right hand of yours. You hit
me twice--biff, biff. It is a brutal and unprovoked assault. I am in
danger o