rtaining the
company. Made bold by an injudicious mixture of Herr Knapf's excellent
beer, and a wonderful punch which Von Gerhard had concocted, Fritz
mounted his chair, placed his plump hand over the spot where he supposed
his heart to be, fastened his watery blue eyes upon my surprised and
blushing countenance, and sang "Weh! Dass Wir Scheiden Mussen!" in an
astonishingly beautiful barytone. I dared not look at Von Gerhard, for
I knew that he was purple with suppressed mirth, so I stared stonily
at the sardine sandwich and dill pickle on my plate, and felt myself
growing hot and hysterical, and cold and tearful by turns.

At the end of the last verse I rose hastily and brought from their
hiding-place the gifts which we of Knapfs' had purchased as remembrances
for Herr and Frau Knapf. I had been delegated to make the presentation
speech, so I grasped in one hand the too elaborate pipe that was to make
Herr Knapf unhappy, and the too fashionable silk umbrella that was to
appall Frau Knapf, and ascended the little platform at the end of the
dining room, and began to speak in what I fondly thought to be fluent
and highsounding German. Immediately the aborigines went off into
paroxysms of laughter. They threw back their heads and roared, and
slapped their thighs, and spluttered. It appeared that they thought I
was making a humorous speech. At that discovery I cast dignity aside
and continued my speech in the language of a German vaudeville comedian,
with a dash of Weber and Field here and there. With the presentation of
the silk umbrella Frau Knapf burst into tears, groped about helplessly
for her apron, realized that it was missing from its accustomed place,
and wiped her tears upon her cherished blue silk sleeve in the utter
abandon of her sorrow. We drank to the future health and prosperity of
our tearful host and hostess, and some one suggested drei mal drei,
to which we responded in a manner to make the chin-chucking lieutenant
tremble in his frame on the wall.

When it was all over Frau Nirlanger beckoned me, and she, Dr. von
Gerhard and I stole out into the hall and stood at the foot of the
stairway, discussing our plans for the future, and trying to smile as we
talked of this plan and that. Frau Nirlanger, in the pretty white gown,
was looking haggard and distrait. The oogly husband was still in the
dining room, finishing the beer and punch, of which he had already taken
too much.

"A tiny apartment we have take