It might've been better if you'd been just
a few minutes later."

She meant it--and that was exactly what he'd been afraid of. "You
shouldn't feel that way, Joanie. God had a reason for keeping you
alive; you've got to believe that."

"Why?" Cortin asked tiredly. She'd spent quite a few hours thinking
about that, when she should've been sleeping but the pain wouldn't let
sleep come and nothing seemed to matter except an end to her torment.
"I'm no saint, but I've never done anything really terrible, either.
Certainly nothing bad enough to deserve this living Hell."

That was true, Odeon thought. Still--"We can't hope to understand His
reasons for what He does," he said. "We can only accept. Offer the
pain to Him, Joanie. Come to Mass with me tomorrow, dedicate yourself
to Him, and ask Him what He wants of your life."

He looked so hopeful she couldn't refuse him. "All right, Mike. I'll
go with you, and I'll try to do what you say. Just don't expect too
much."

"I'll settle for anything that'll help you." Odeon smiled at her,
raising his cup. "To your recovery."

"Thanks--are you going out tonight?"

He'd been planning on it, but he quickly changed his plans. "No, why?"

"I'd like some company, then, if you don't mind." She grimaced.
"Though if you'd prefer a woman who can do something for you instead of
a counterfeit, I'd certainly understand."

"Even disabled, you're more of a real woman than any I've paid to be
with," Odeon said. "I've always enjoyed your company, even when one of
us was too tired or too hurt for fun and games--you know that."

"I know--I felt the same way." Cortin managed a smile. "But I will
miss the fun and games, and you'll have to be careful about waking up
shooting because you hear something out of place--I haven't learned to
stay in the right position while I'm sleeping yet, so it's at night my
back acts up worst, and I have a bad tendency to scream when it does."

At least her sense of humor hadn't completely deserted her, even though
the humor now was on the dark side. "I'll be careful," he promised.
"I certainly wouldn't want to shoot my favorite recruit."

* * * * *

She found it comforting to lie beside Mike, even though part of her
also found it a near-painful reminder of what they'd shared earlier.
She lay awake for awhile listening to his quiet breathing before it
lulled her into a doze, then into deeper sleep and dreams of a