d
affairs. I'd like to fish up a rabbit from the depths of an old
gentleman's silk tile, or extract a dozen eggs from a lady's
hand-bag, or transmute a canary into a goldfish. I'd like to see the
looks of wonder on the faces of the audience and hear them gasp. The
difficulty with such a subject as I have chosen, though, is to fill
the frame. I went into a shop in Paris once to make some small
purchase, expecting to find a great emporium, but, to my surprise,
found that all the goods were in the show-window. That's one trouble
with my subject--all the goods seem to be in the show-window. But,
I'll do the best I can with it, even if I am compelled to pilfer from
the pages of the book.

In the introduction of the speech I shall become expansive upon the
term _Dialectic_, and try to impress my hearers (if there are any)
with my thorough acquaintance with all things which the term
suggests. If I continue expatiating upon the word long enough they
may come to think that I actually coined the word, for I shall not
emphasize Doctor Durell especially--just enough to keep my soul
untarnished. In a review of this book one man translates the first
word "luck." I don't like his word and for two reasons: In the first
place, it is a short word, and everybody knows that long words are
better for speechmaking purposes. If he had used the word
"accidental" or "incidental" I'd think more of his translation and of
his review. I'm going to use my word as if Doctor Durell had said
_Incidental_.

So much for the introduction; now for the speech. From this point
forward I shall draw largely upon the book but shall so turn and
twist what the doctor says as to make it seem my own. With something
of a flourish, I shall tell how in the year 1856 a young chemist,
named Perkin, while trying to produce quinine synthetically, hit upon
the process of producing aniline dyes. His incidental discovery led
to the establishment of the artificial-dye industry, and we have here
an example of dialectic efficiency. This must impress my intelligent
and cultured auditors, and they will be wondering if I can produce
another illustration equally good. I can, of course, for this book
is rich in illustrations. I can see, as it were, the old fellow on
the third seat, who has been sitting there as stiff and straight as a
ramrod, limber up just a mite, and with my next point I hope to
induce him to lean forward an inch, at least, out of the
perpendi