me? The right of obligations conferred. But is not Lord
Windermear under obligations to me? Have I not preserved his secret?
Yes; but how did I obtain possession of it? By so doing, I was only
making reparation for an act of treachery. Well, then, at all events, I
have a right to be independent of them, if I please--anyone has a right
to assert his independence if he chooses. Their offers or service only
would shackle me, if I accepted of their assistance. I will have none
of them. Such were my reflections; and the reader must perceive that I
was influenced by a state of morbid irritability--a sense of abandonment
which prostrated me. I felt that I was an isolated being without a tie
in the whole world. I determined to spurn the world as it had spurned
me. To Timothy I would hardly speak a word. I lay with an aching head,
aching from increased circulation. I was mad, or nearly so. I opened
the case of pistols, and thought of suicide--reflection alone restrained
me. I could not abandon the search after my father.

Feverish and impatient, I wished to walk out, but I dared not meet the
public eye. I waited till dark, and then I sallied forth, hardly
knowing where I went. I passed the gaming house--I did pass it, but I
returned and lost every shilling; not, however, till the fluctuations of
the game had persuaded me, that had I had more money to carry it on, I
should have won.

I went to bed, but not to sleep; I thought of how I had been caressed
and admired, when I was supposed to be rich. Of what use then was the
money I possessed? Little or none. I made up my mind that I would
either gain a fortune, or lose that which I had. The next morning I
went into the city, and sold out all the remaining stock. To Timothy I
had not communicated my intentions. I studiously avoided speaking to
him: he felt hurt at my conduct, I perceived, but I was afraid of his
advice and expostulation.

At night-fall I returned to the hell--played with various success; at
one time was a winner of three times my capital, and I ended at last
with my pockets being empty. I was indifferent when it was all gone,
although in the highest state of excitement while the chances were
turning up.

The next day I went to a house-agent, and stated my wish to sell my
house, for I was resolved to try fortune to the last. The agent
undertook to find a ready purchaser, and I begged an advance, which he
made, and continued to make, until