t his F.I., his E.P., and his H.A.W. A child could use it."

"But," objected young Bansted Downs, "under your system, dullardism
paying so well, everybody would want to cater for the public, and there
wouldn't be any audience--any public."

"Pooh! The system at present in vogue is all I require--compulsory
education. Everybody will have to be educated as a genius, except a few
who will be specially exempted from attendance at the Board schools to
enable them to lie fallow and fit themselves for originators.

"Of course, you may say that it would not be _necessary_ for the
entertainer to be dull. Of course it would not; but, as it is not
necessary for him to be a genius either, there would be a waste of
public money in educating him as one. In fact, it might be a
disadvantage for both originator and appreciator to be geniuses, and
their conceptions might clash and create confusion. It's better for a
conception to be lighted from one side only, as you get more contrast."

"But would not the genius of the spectator simply perceive the dulness
of the originator?"

"Not in the least. It's just the sphere of genius to perceive, in a
given production, excellences which the ordinary observer fails to
detect; and it's only a question of degree of genius. I take it that
perfect genius can detect perfect excellence in everything submitted to
its discrimination. And now, will you be kind enough to come and vote
for me, as for the furtherance of my scheme I am offering myself as
Chairman of the School Board?"

In due course, the Man Who Knew All About It was elected to the School
Board. He secured this by publishing handbills declaring his intention
to squander the rate-payers' money like water, and provide free food,
clothing, lodging, sweets, tobacco, drinks, theatres, and pianos to all
the Board school children and their parents, relatives, and friends. The
public judged by the proceedings of past candidates, all of whom had
deliberately broken their promises on coming into office; and they
concluded that this one would do so as well, and refuse to spend a
penny. The Board were compelled to choose him as Chairman; and he at
once commenced his work of reform.

Genius took the place of all the former studies at the Board schools: no
pupil was permitted to leave until he had passed the fifth standard,
which turned him out a full-fledged genius; and he had to attend until
he _could_ pass it, even if he became old and decrepit.