loves fun, you know: So it has lamed him,
and that makes me laugh so--Ha! ha! ha!--it was what I call
better than your _rappartees_ and your _bobinates_. I'll
tell you more too: you must know I was in high tip-top
spirits, faith, so I stole a dog from a blind man--for I do
loves fun: so then the blind man cried for his dog, and that
made me laugh heartily: So says I to the blind man--Hallo,
Master, what a you a'ter, what is you up to? does you want
your dog?--Yes, Sir, says he. Now only you mark what I said
to the blind man--Then go and look for him, old chap, says
I--Ha! ha! ha!--that's your sort, my boy, keep it up, keep
it up, d---- me. That's the worst of it, I always turn
sick when I think of a Parson--I always do; and my brother
he is a parson too, and he hates to hear any body swear: so
you know I always swear like a trooper when I am near him,
on purpose to roast him. I went to dine with him one day
last week, and there was my sisters, and two or three more
of what you call your modest women; but I sent 'em all from
the table, and then laugh'd at 'em, for I loves fun, and
that was fun alive 0. And so there was nobody in the room
but my brother and me, and I begun to swear most sweetly: I
never swore so well in all my life--I swore all my new
oaths; it would have done you good to have heard me swear;
till at last my brother looked frightened, and d---- me that
was good fun. At last, he lifted up his hands and eyes to
Heaven, and calls out _O tempora, O mores!_ But I was not to
be done so. Oh! oh! Brother, says I, what you think to
frighten me by calling all your family about you; but I
don't care for you, nor your family neither--so stow it--
I'll mill the whole troop--Only bring your Tempora and Mores
here, that's all--let us have fair play, I'll tip 'em the
Gas in a flash of lightning--I'll box 'em for five pounds,
d---- me: here, where's Tempora and Mores, where are they?
My eyes, how he did stare when he see me ready for a set to--
I never laugh'd so in my life--he made but two steps out of
the room, and left me master of the field. What d'ye
think of that for a lark, eh?--Keep it up--keep it up, d----
me, says I--so I sets down to the table, drank as much as I
could--then I mix'd the heel-taps all in one bottle