t with the allowable vanities of the present. Step by step, they
lead their melancholy patrons along the meandering margin of their
flowing pages--from the very borders of the tomb, through all the
intermediate changes by which sorrow publishes to the world its
gradual subsidence, and land them at last in the sixteenth page,
restored to themselves and to society, in the frontbox of the Opera,
glittering in 'splendid head-dresses in pearl,' in 'fashionably
elegant turbans,' and in 'dress-caps trimmed with blonde and Brussels
lace.' For such benefactors to womankind--the dears--of course no
reward can be too great; and, therefore, Messrs Moan and Groan, strong
in their modest sense of merit, make no parade of prices. They offer
you all that in circumstances of mourning you can possibly want; they
scorn to do you the disgrace of imagining that you would drive a
bargain on the very brink of the grave; and you are of course obliged
to them for the delicacy of their reserve on so commonplace a subject,
and you pay their bill in decorous disregard of the amount. It is
true, that certain envious rivals have compared them to birds of prey,
scenting mortality from afar, and hovering like vultures on the trail
of death, in order to profit by his dart; but such 'caparisons,' as
Mrs Malaprop says, 'are odorous,' and we will have nothing to do with
them.

The next, and the last we shall examine ere Betty claims the whole
mass to kindle her fires, is a somewhat bulky envelope, addressed in a
neat hand: _To the Lady of the House_. It contains a couple of very
voluminous papers, almost as large as the broad page of _The Times_,
one of which adverts mysteriously to some appalling calamity, which
has resulted in a 'most DISASTROUS FAILURE, productive of the most
_intense excitement_ in the commercial world.' We learn further on,
that from various conflicting circumstances, which the writer does not
condescend to explain, above L.150,000 worth of property has come into
the hands of Messrs Grabble and Grab, of Smash Place, 'which they are
resolute in summarily disposing of _on principles commensurate with
the honourable position they hold in the metropolis_.' Then follows a
list of tempting bargains, completely filling both the broad sheets.
Here are a few samples:

'Costly magnificent long shawls, manufactured at L.6, to be
sold for 18s. 6d.

Fur victorines, usually charged 18s. 6d., to sell at 1s. 3d.

2500 shawls