What's algebra?"

"It's dry and tough enough," said I; "_a^2 + 2ab + b^2._"

"It's stimulating, though?" he inquired.

I told him I believed so, and that it was considered fortifying to
Types.

"Then that's the thing for me. I'll study algebra," he concluded.

The next day, by application to one of his typewriting women, he got
word of a young lady, one Miss Mamie McBride, who was willing and able
to conduct him in these bloomless meadows; and, her circumstances being
lean, and terms consequently moderate, he and Mamie were soon in
agreement for two lessons in the week. He took fire with unexampled
rapidity; he seemed unable to tear himself away from the symbolic art;
an hour's lesson occupied the whole evening; and the original two was
soon increased to four, and then to five. I bade him beware of female
blandishments. "The first thing you know, you'll be falling in love with
the algebraist," said I.

"Don't say it, even in jest," he cried. "She's a lady I revere. I could
no more lay a hand upon her than I could upon a spirit. Loudon, I don't
believe God ever made a purer-minded woman."

Which appeared to me too fervent to be reassuring.

Meanwhile I had been long expostulating with my friend upon a different
matter. "I'm the fifth wheel," I kept telling him. "For any use I am, I
might as well be in Senegambia. The letters you give me to attend to
might be answered by a sucking child. And I tell you what it is,
Pinkerton; either you've got to find me some employment, or I'll have to
start in and find it for myself."

This I said with a corner of my eye in the usual quarter, towards the
arts, little dreaming what destiny was to provide.

"I've got it, Loudon," Pinkerton at last replied. "Got the idea on the
Potrero cars. Found I hadn't a pencil, borrowed one from the conductor,
and figured on it roughly all the way in town. I saw it was the thing at
last; gives you a real show. All your talents and accomplishments come
in. Here's a sketch advertisement. Just run your eye over it. '_Sun,
Ozone and Music!_ PINKERTON'S HEBDOMADARY PICNICS!' (That's a good,
catching phrase, 'hebdomadary,' though it's hard to say. I made a note
of it when I was looking in the dictionary how to spell _hectagonal_.
'Well, you're a boss word,' I said. 'Before you're very much older, I'll
have you in type as long as yourself.' And here it is, you see.) '_Five
dollars a head, and ladies free_. MONSTER OLIO OF ATTRACTIONS.' (How
does t