end, grime and sterne in
countenance, or pleasant and demure (for they have divers kinds of cuts
for all these purposes, or else they lie). Then when they have done all
their feats, it is a world to consider, how their mowchatowes [i.e.,
moustaches] must be preserved and laid out, and from one cheke to
another, yea, almost from one eare to another, and turned up like two
hornes towards the forehead. Besides that, when they come to the cutting
of the haire, what snipping and snapping of the cycers is there, what
tricking and toying, and all to tawe out mony, you may be sure. And when
they come to washing, oh how gingerly they behave themselves therein.
For then shall your mouth be bossed with the lather or fome that riseth
of the balle (for they have their sweet balles wherewith-all they use to
washe), your eyes closed must be anointed therewith also. Then snap go
the fingers ful bravely, God wot. Thus this tragedy ended, comes me
warme clothes, to wipe and dry him withall; next the eares must be
picked and closed againe togither artificially forsooth. The haire of
the nostrils cut away, and every thing done in order comely to behold.
The last action in this tragedie is the paiment of monie. And least
these cunning barbers might seeme unconscionable in asking much for
their paines, they are of such a shamefast modestie, as they will aske
nothing at all, but standing to the curtisie and liberalitie of the
giver, they will receive all that comes, how much soever it be, not
giving anie againe, I warrant you: for take a barber with that fault,
and strike off his head. No, no, such fellowes are _Rarae aves in
terris, nigrisque similimi cygnis_, Rare birds upon the earth, and as
geason as blacke swans. You shall have also your orient perfumes for
your nose, your fragrant waters for your face, wherewith you shall bee
all to besprinkled, your musicke againe, and pleasant harmonic, shall
sound in your eares, and all to tickle the same with vaine delight. And
in the end your cloke shall be brushed, and 'God be with you
Gentleman!'"[165]

[165] Reprint for the Shakspere Society, Part ii (1882),
pp. 50, 51.

* * * * *

A very curious Ballad of the Beard, of the time of Charles I, if not
earlier, is reproduced in _Satirical Songs and Poems on Costume_, edited
by F. W. Fairholt, for the Percy Society, in which "the varied forms of
beards which characterised the profession of each man are amu