hould say so," said Abeuchapeta, with an ecstatic shake of his head.
"I didn't get that in all my career."

"Nor I," sighed Kidd. "But go on, Hawkins."

"Well, as I says," continued Captain Hawkins, "we goes to the rondyvoo to
look over our booty. 'Captain 'Awkins,' says my valet--for I was a swell
pirate, gents, an' never travelled nowhere without a man to keep my
clothes brushed and the proper wrinkles in my trousers--'this 'ere twelve
millions,' says he, 'is werry light,' says he, carryin' the bag ashore. 'I
don't care how light it is, so long as it's twelve millions, Henderson,'
says I; but my heart sinks inside o' me at his words, an' the minute we
lands I sits down to investigate right there on the beach. I opens the
bag, an' it's the one I was after--but the twelve millions!"

"Weren't there?" cried Conrad.

"Yes, they was there," sighed Hawkins, "but every bloomin' million was
represented by a certified check, an' payable in London!"

[Illustration: "'EVERY BLOOMIN' MILLION WAS REPRESENTED BY A CERTIFIED
CHECK, AN' PAYABLE IN LONDON'"]

"By Jingo!" cried Morgan. "What fearful luck! But you had the prima
donna's jewels."

"Yes," said Hawkins, with a moan. "But they was like all other prima
donna's jewels--for advertisin' purposes only, an' made o' gum-arabic!"

"Horrible!" said Abeuchapeta. "And the crew, what did they say?"

"They was a crew of a few words," sighed Hawkins. "Werry few words, an'
not a civil word in the lot--mostly adjectives of a profane kind. When I
told 'em what had happened, they got mad at Fortune for a-jiltin' of 'em,
an'--well, I came here. I was 'sas'inated that werry night!"

"They killed you?" cried Morgan.

"A dozen times," nodded Hawkins. "They always was a lavish lot. I met
death in all its most horrid forms. First they stabbed me, then they shot
me, then they clubbed me, and so on, endin' up with a lynchin'--but I
didn't mind much after the first, which hurt a bit. But now that I'm here
I'm glad it happened. This life is sort of less responsible than that
other. You can't hurt a ghost by shooting him, because there ain't nothing
to hurt, an' I must say I like bein' a mere vision what everybody can see
through."

"All of which interesting tale proves what?" queried Abeuchapeta.

"That piracy on the sea is not profitable in these days of the check
banking system," said Kidd. "If you can get a chance at real gold it's all
right, but it's of no earthly use to steal checks