ining richly through, and she
gets the Frenchman on his feet and onto the box; and the crowd cheers
like mad and presses close. I was standing close to G.H. Stultz, and he
whispers to me:

"My Lord! If there was only some means of getting that stock into the
German commissary! But I'm told they analyze everything. Anyway, I got my
bidders planted and I'll have to buy up the stock if it breaks me."

Then the Frenchman begun to talk in a very nice way. He said a few words
about his country--how they had been fighting all these years, not
knowing whether they could win or not, but meaning to fight till there
wasn't any fighters left; and how grateful France was for the timely aid
of this great country and for the efforts of beautiful ladies like Madam
Popper, and so on.

You bet no one laughed, even if he didn't talk such very good English.
They didn't even laugh when he said beautiful ladies like Madam Popper,
though Cousin Egbert, somewhere off in the crowd, made an undignified
sound which he pretended was coughing.

The Frenchman then said he would now ask for bids for these beautiful
table delicacies, which were not only of rich food value but were more
priceless than gold and jewels because of having been imprisoned in the
crystal glass by the fair hands of the beautiful Madam Popper; and what
was he offered for six bottles of this unspeakable jelly?

Of course G.H. Stultz would of had 'em in no time if the panic hadn't
saved him. Yes, sir; right then something terrible and unforeseen
happened to cause a frightful panic. About five of them jars of preserves
blew up with loud reports. Of course everyone's first thought was that a
German plot was on to lay Horticultural Hall in ruins with dynamite. It
sounded such. No one thought it was merely these strange preserves that
had been working overtime in that furnace.

Women screamed and strong men made a dash for the door over prostrate
bodies. And then a lot more explosions took place. The firing became
general, as the reports say. Bottle after bottle shot its dread contents
into the fray, and many feeble persons was tromped on by the mob.

It wasn't any joke for a minute. The big jars, mostly loaded with
preserves, went off with heavy reports; then there was these smaller
bottles, filled with artificial ketchup and corked. They went off like
a battery of light field guns, putting down a fierce barrage of ketchup
on one and all. It was a good demonstration of the r