s? When he began on his small salary, did he patronise
the office-boy? When he had learnt to spell, did he devote his first
epistolary efforts to the pompous patronage of his parents? I fancy
I can hear him declaring to his tottering father that a man so
blessed in his son might well console himself for many a grievous
disappointment, and the old man I am sure meekly accepted his son's
assurance, and joined with his wife in thanking providence for
granting them so great a happiness. But BULMER has different fashions
of showing his superiority. I will do him the credit of saying that I
do not believe him to be a Snob. He does not prostrate himself before
the great, since he believes himself to be greater than they can ever
be. But he knows that ordinary human nature is apt to be impressed
by the appearance of intimate familiarity with persons of title. And
BULMER therefore uses the Peers of his circle as instruments wherewith
he may belabour the minds of his humbler friends.

"The Marquis of CHEDDAR," he will say, in a tone of grandeur, "did me
the honour to consult me about his furniture to-day, and I told him
what I thought. The fact is her Ladyship has no taste, and the Marquis
has less, but I arranged it all for them."

And I am certain that BULMER spoke the truth, but I am equally certain
that it was unnecessary for him to mention the subject at all. Yet
little KINKES, I know, went away persuaded that the aristocracy
trembled at BULMER's nod, and that to know him was a privilege.
Unfortunately BULMER, with all his good-nature, wearies me, I know
I am not worthy to tie his shoe-string, but I am disposed to imitate
MONTROND, who, when he was told that he cheated at cards, replied,
"_C'est possible, Monsieur, mais je n'aime pas qu'on me le dise_," and
flung his wine-glass in his accuser's face. Cease, my dear POMPOSITY,
to torment me by means of BULMER. I may address you again, but, in the
meantime,

I remain, your humble Servant,
DIOGENES ROBINSON.

* * * * *

A ROYAL (OLYMPIC) DIVORCE.

(_A PAGE FROM FRENCH HISTORY BY MRS. MARKHAM, AFTER W.G. WILLS._)

[Illustration: Wills and Ways; or, a Hand at Nap.]

And so, when NAPOLEON had won Austerlitz, he thought he would marry
MARIE LOUISE, Archduchess of Austria, although, as you know, he was
already wedded to JOSEPHINE, his first wife. To effect this purpose,
he sent his Minister of State, TALLEYRAND, and two comic Mars