ny
of them, out of the earnest hopes she hath of the Presents she
expects. And then also she must give an account to every one of them
that are invited of the state and condition of the Child-bed woman and
her Child. I wonder that there is no body that sollicites to have the
Office of an Inviter to all such sort of Gossippings, but the women
understand these affairs and the ordering of such sort of invitations
much better than any one else, therefore 'tis not necessary.

O, new Father, what a sweet Delight and Pleasure you must needs have
in reviewing this great List of your Gossips! What multiplicities of
wishes of joy and prosperity have you to expect! But if I were to be
your Counsellor, I assure you I would order the Nurse to desire Doctor
_Toss-bowl_, my Lord _Drinkfirst_ and then the other Gentlemen, to
wit, Masters _Cleardrinker, Dryliver, Spillnot, Sup-up, Seldom-sober_,
and _Shift-gut_, to fetch home their Wives in good time from the
Gossipping; because you have other mens Wives, who are your near
relations, that you must entertain longer; and they otherwise will
never think of rising or going home though it were midnight: And by
this means you will have a fit opportunity, with a full Bowl and a
Pipe, to wash away that rammish sent of a Child-bed out of your
brains; and also after many hopes, once arrive to the height of
receiving your full delight and pleasure. And then you may e'en clap
it all together upon the account of a Lying-in.

Now Nurse, here you have work by whole hand-fulls: for you shall no
sooner have made an end of your other errands, but immediately there's
so much tricking and pricking of all things up in neat order against
the coming of the sharp-sighted guests; that it's a terror to think
on't. Their eys will fly into every nook and corner; nay the very
house of Office must be extraordinary neat and clean; for Mistris
_Foul-arse_, Gossip _Order-all_, and Goody _Dirty-buttocks_, will be
peeping into every crevise and cranny: And because they will do it
forsooth, according to their fashion, they make a shew as if they must
go to the necessary Chamber, with a Letter to _Gravesend_, only to
take an inspection whether it be as cleanly there as it is upon the
Gossipping Chamber where all the Guests are. And 'tis a wonder if they
do not look into the Seat, to see whether there be no Spyders webs
spun in it; or whether the Goldfinders Merchandize be of a good
colour, equal-size and thickness.

Bu