There, while the thunder rolled among
the mountains, the rain plashed upon the window-shutters and the wind
blew like the very devil, I muttered to myself, "Here is a man bearing
worthily one of the most honored names in the Commonwealth--a member,
in fact, of one of the first--the first--_first_ fam--families in
Vir--gin--ia, actually pr--prais--praising Yan--Yank--Yankees in--in's
own hou--" I was asleep.

On the morrow, when I returned to the station and saw how very lovely
the country was, how fertile--the rounded mountains, when cleared
of their royal forests, arable to their very summits, the air like
Olympian nectar, the sunshine a divine balm, the whole scene a
Sabbath-land of peace and of boundless plenty, awaiting only the
cohorts of the North and of the white-cliffed isle--I would fain have
cried, "Come, ye moderately pecunious Bulls, and you, ye hyperborean
Vandals from the far Lake of Winnipiseogee and the uttermost Cape of
Cod--come to this Canaan, not like carpet-bagging spies to steal our
big bunch of grapes and tote it off on a stick between two of you (as
per authentic pictures in Sunday-school books), but with your shekels,
your deniers, your pence, pounds sterling and crisp greenbacks: come
to this beauteous land, take it, own it, possess it, buy freely, and
be sure you reserve enough cash to build a house with; or, better
still, bring your houses ready made, in nests like buckets or painted
pails (I am sure you have them in your inventive realm). Come, I say,
and oust these mutton-headed Virginians, or sit down beside them, work
with them, teach them to work (you are so certain you can), and make
this American republic the Storehouse of the nations, the Cornucopia
of all creation!"

I got to the station just three hours after the train I intended to
take had left, and had to wait only two hours for the next train;
which was doing pretty well for Virginia. Possessing my Southside
soul in patience, I bought two not very bad cigars for ten cents, and
fell to contemplating some eight or nine of the Down-Trodden who were
hanging around. I must say that the Down-Trodden did not appear to
have been much flattened by the heel of the Oppressor. As I gazed, a
foolish parody started itself in my idle brain:

When the fair land of Bedford
Was ploughed by the hoof
Of the ruthless invader--

There the thing broke down, and--the events of the night before, the
Englishman, the happy Northern family and