.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE SAND CAMPAIGN.

SCENE--_Algeria, on the border of the desert_.

THE ARAB AND THE CHANCELLOR
WERE WALKING HAND-IN-HAND;
THE LATTER WEPT A LOT TO SEE
SUCH QUANTITIES OF SAND;
"WHY ARE YOU HOLDING UP," HE SAID,
"THIS VERY FERTILE LAND?"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Harold_ (_who has just been kissed by his sister_). "I
SAY, I WONDER WHAT SHE'S UP TO?"

_Friend_. "SIGN OF AFFECTION, ISN'T IT?"

_Harold_. "_AFFECTION_, YOU GOAT! SHE NEVER DOES THAT TILL THE LAST
DAY OF THE HOLS, AND THERE'S A WEEK TO GO YET."]

* * * * *

"The play was preceded by 'The L12 Hook,' another Barrie
comedy of more recent date."--_Sydney Morning Herald_.

We should prefer to call it "The L12 Eye."

* * * * *

"LABOUR IN SOUTH AFRICA.
BLACK OUTLOOK."

_Morning Post_.

Let us hear both sides. What is the White Outlook?

* * * * *

"The grievance of the men is in regard to the rate of pay.
They are paid 51/2d. per hair."--_Glasgow News_.

And then when they are old and bald they have to starve.

* * * * *

"TANGO RAPIDLY DYING.
DANCE UPHELD BY MR. MAX PEMBERTON."
_Daily Chronicle_.

This is the sort of thing that the Revue King has to put up with.
Truly the lot of royalty is not an enviable one.

* * * * *

From an advertisement of Tango matinees in _The Lyceum_:--

"RESERVED TAUTENILS (4 first rows) 10/--
TAUTENILS (tea included) 7/6
TAUTENILS (tea not included) 6/--"

_Gourmet_ (_planking down his seven-and-six_). "Tea and tautenils,
please."

* * * * *

Seen on a Liverpool hoarding:--

"Quo Vadis: Whither goest thou in eight reels?"

_Answer_. "Anywhere in reason, but not home."

* * * * *

IN THE GARDEN OF ALLAH.

Weary of the struggle and the squalors
Which beset the politician's life--
Work that for a modicum of dollars
Brings a whole infinity of strife--
Three of England's most illustrious cronies
Started on a winter holiday,
With no thought of MURRAY or Marconis--
GEORGE and HENRY and the great TAY PAY.

Never since AENEAS and his raiders
Stayed with DIDO in the days of yore