iedly
decamped; and I don't think that disease is going to be popular in
that regiment."

A shout of laughter greeted the story. All present had seen too
many instances of malingering not to appreciate Surgeon Kemp's cure
for a disease which never existed.

A plum pudding was brought on and set afire. Ailsa poured the
burning sauce over and over it. Dr. Hammond got up and threw some
more pine logs on the fire. Huge shadows rose up and danced in the
ruddy light, as the candles burned lower. Then Dr. West began
another story, but was checked by the appearance of a hospital
steward:

"Davis, Ward A, No. 3, is very bad, sir."

"Going?"

"Yes, sir."

The doctor bent above the table, took a hasty spoonful of pudding,
nodded to the company, and went out.

"Speaking of malingerers," began Hammond, "I saw the Colonel of the
forty Thieves put down in a most amusing manner the day before Bull
Run. Shall I tell it? It involves some swearing."

Ailsa laughed. "Proceed, Dr. Hammond. Do you think Miss Lynden
and I have been deaf since we arrived at the front?"

"Does anybody in this hospital use bad language?" demanded the
doctor sharply.

"Not to us," said Ailsa, smiling. "But there's an army just
outside the windows. Go on with your story, please."

"Well, then," said the jolly surgeon, "I was talking with Colonel
Riley, when up walks the most honest-looking soldier I think I ever
saw; and he gazed straight into the Colonel's eyes as he saluted.
He wanted a furlough, it appeared, to go to New York and see his
dying wife.

"Riley said: 'Is she very sick?'

"'Yes, Colonel.'

"'You have a letter: saying she is very sick?'

"'Yes, Colonel.'

"'Well, _I_ also have a letter from your wife. I wanted to make
certain about all the applications for furlough you have been
making, so I wrote her.'

"'Yes, Colonel.'

"'And she says that she is perfectly well, and does not want you to
come home!'

"The soldier smiled.

"'Did you write a letter to my wife, Colonel?'

"'I did."

"'Did my wife write to you?'

"'She did. And what do you mean by coming here to me with a lie
about your sick wife! Have you anything to say to that?'

"'Yes, Colonel.'

"'Then say it!'

"'Well, Colonel, all I have to say is that there are two of the
damnedest, biggest liars that ever lived, right here in this
regiment!'

"'What!'

"The soldier grinned.

"'I'm not married at all,' he said, 'and I'm the biggest liar