nstead of the two hundred which I had hoped to receive for
my forty newspapers, I was actually in possession of not less
than--well, I don't care to tell exactly how much, on account of the
income-tax.

"Come, now," said the gentlemen, almost in one breath, "tell us how
these papers came to China."

"I brought them myself."

"When did you leave America?"

"The morning when these papers were printed: but how long ago that was,
I really don't know, as my watch stopped while I was on my voyage; only
I thought it was just as well to call out, as I always used to do at
home, 'Morning paper!' although, perhaps, for all I can tell, they may
be two or perhaps three days old; anyhow, I guess you find them a good
deal fresher than the rest you have got on hand."

Having delivered myself of this somewhat protracted speech, I began
moving towards the door with the air of one who had said every thing
that could reasonably be expected, in reply to the curious inquiries of
my liberal patrons, when the Boston merchant motioned for me to stop,
saying with some severity, "Did you not promise that you would inform
the company how these papers came from America to China in such an
incredibly short period of time, whenever you should have received your
pay for the same?"

"Yes, sir; and I just told you that I brought them over--not exactly
_over_--but--in short, I brought them here."

"You say, 'not exactly _over_'; do you mean by that phrase to be
understood to say that you did not come over land?"

"Your honor has hit my meaning precisely."

"You don't pretend to say that you came by water?"

"Far from it, sir."

"How then, _under the heavens_, did you come?"

"I didn't come under the heavens at all."

"I don't believe," said the irritated gentleman, turning to his
companions, "that the fellow came at all; he must be lying."

All the answer that he received was the rustling of forty newspapers,
bearing the imprint, "February 16, 1867, Boston." There was no getting
over this.

After a pause of several minutes, during which a bright idea entered my
mind, I came forward into the circle, and said, "Well, gentlemen, I want
to see if I can make a good bargain with you; and when that is settled,
I will tell you how I came over--I mean, I will tell you how I got here;
that is, I will tell you _the route_ that I took. If I can arrange for
the delivery in Canton of the New York and Boston daily papers, within
thirty-six hours of