n wore black.
The guest of the evening arrived at a late hour. He wore
his habits de spri, and had about six pouces of eau de
vie in him. He was evidently full up to his cou. For some
time after his arrival a very lively time was spent. Mr.
Robinson having at length broken the whippe de chien,
the family parted for the night with expressions of
cordial goodwill.

Insurance up to Date

A man called on me the other day with the idea of insuring
my life. Now, I detest life-insurance agents; they always
argue that I shall some day die, which is not so. I have
been insured a great many times, for about a month at a
time, but have had no luck with it at all.

So I made up my mind that I would outwit this man at his
own game. I let him talk straight ahead and encouraged
him all I could, until he finally left me with a sheet
of questions which I was to answer as an applicant. Now
this was what I was waiting for; I had decided that, if
that company wanted information about me, they should
have it, and have the very best quality I could supply.
So I spread the sheet of questions before me, and drew
up a set of answers for them, which, I hoped, would settle
for ever all doubts as to my eligibility for insurance.

Question.--What is your age?
Answer.--I can't think.

Q.--What is your chest measurement?
A.--Nineteen inches.

Q.--What is your chest expansion?
A.--Half an inch.

Q.--What is your height?
A.--Six feet five, if erect, but less when
I walk on all fours.

Q.--Is your grandfather dead?
A.--Practically.

Q.--Cause of death, if dead?
A.--Dipsomania, if dead.

Q.--Is your father dead?
A.--To the world.

Q.--Cause of death?
A.--Hydrophobia.

Q.--Place of father's residence?
A.--Kentucky.

Q.--What illness have you had?
A.--As a child, consumption, leprosy, and water on
the knee. As a man, whooping-cough, stomach-ache,
and water on the brain.

Q.--Have you any brothers?
A.--Thirteen; all nearly dead.

Q.--Are you aware of any habits or tendencies which
might be expected to shorten your life?
A.--I am aware. I drink, I smoke, I take morphine and
vaseline. I swallow grape seeds and I hate exercise.

I thought when I had come to the end of that list that
I had made a dead sure thing of it, and I posted the
paper with a cheque for three months' payment, feeling
pretty confident of having the cheque sent back to me.
I was a good deal surprised a few days later to receive