lives of these massive blighters with a
word. It was like the stories you read about lion-tamers. Archie did
not despair of seeing Officer Donahue and his old college chum Cassidy
eventually jumping through hoops.

"Who are you?" demanded the captain, turning to Archie.

"Well, my name is--"

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, it's rather a longish story, you know. Don't want to bore you,
and all that."

"I'm here to listen. You can't bore ME."

"Dashed nice of you to put it like that," said Archie, gratefully. "I
mean to say, makes it easier and so forth. What I mean is, you know how
rotten you feel telling the deuce of a long yarn and wondering if the
party of the second part is wishing you would turn off the tap and go
home. I mean--"

"If," said the captain, "you're reciting something, stop. If you're
trying to tell me what you're doing here, make it shorter and easier."

Archie saw his point. Of course, time was money--the modern spirit of
hustle--all that sort of thing.

"Well, it was this bathing suit, you know," he said.

"What bathing suit?"

"Mine, don't you know, A lemon-coloured contrivance. Rather bright and
so forth, but in its proper place not altogether a bad egg. Well, the
whole thing started, you know, with my standing on a bally pedestal sort
of arrangement in a diving attitude--for the cover, you know. I don't
know if you have ever done anything of that kind yourself, but it gives
you a most fearful crick in the spine. However, that's rather beside the
point, I suppose--don't know why I mentioned it. Well, this morning he
was dashed late, so I went out--"

"What the devil are you talking about?"

Archie looked at him, surprised.

"Aren't I making it clear?"

"No."

"Well, you understand about the bathing suit, don't you? The jolly old
bathing suit, you've grasped that, what?"

"No."

"Oh, I say," said Archie. "That's rather a nuisance. I mean to say,
the bathing suit's what you might call the good old pivot of the whole
dashed affair, you see. Well, you understand about the cover, what?
You're pretty clear on the subject of the cover?"

"What cover?"

"Why, for the magazine."

"What magazine?"

"Now there you rather have me. One of these bright little periodicals,
you know, that you see popping to and fro on the bookstalls."

"I don't know what you're talking about," said the captain. He looked at
Archie with an expression of distrust and hostility. "And I'll tell you