the social festivities most enthusiastic.
The' was somethin' about both these two Maggies that kept bringin'
Barbie before me, an' what I felt most like doin' was to bolster up my
forgetfulness. It wasn't very long, however, before I noticed that my
quiet an' simple life hadn't in nowise fitted me for refined society,
an' I made my plans to bid it a fond farewell. I'm just as cordial a
friend as whiskey ever had; but my con science rebels at floodin' my
vital organs with seventeen different colored wines at one meal. I've
been infested with pink elephants an' green dragons an' I never com
plained none; but hang me if I can get any comfort out of a striped
yellow spider ten feet high on horrid hairy legs.

I was sittin' in the Palace lobby one mornin' wonderin' if I'd bump my
head should I happen to sneeze, when in come one o' my pals. His face
lit up when he see me an' he came over holdin' out his hand. I held out
my own hearty enough; but I sez in a warnin' voice, "Now, before you
ask me the customary question I want to inform you that I positively
don't want a drink, neither now nor this evenin', nor never again."

"Pshaw," sez he, "I'm goin' to pull out for home to day, an' I don't
want to go without a farewell libation to the good times we've been
havin'."

"I'm goin' to pull out, myself," sez I, "but I went on my farewell
libation last night. Where might your home be?"

"Texas," sez he. I straightened up.

"Know the governor?" sez I.

"Some," sez he, his eyes twinklin'; "he was my sister's youngest
brother."

"Your sister's youngest brother?" sez I, an' then I tumbled. "Say," I
yelled, jumpin' to my feet, "you don't mean that you're it yourself?"

"That's the history," sez he; "but if it's just the same to you, I'd
rather you didn't work up much of a story about the way I've handled
this town since you saved that car."

"Do you really think 'at I saved your life?" sez I.

"Why," sez he, "if that wagon had ever hit the car the' wouldn't 'a'
been anything left but my teeth to identify me by, an' I ain't never
had one filled yet."

Well, I took one drink with him an' I told him the straight o' that
cattle ring an' how Jim Jimison had surrendered on account o' the best
little girl that walked, an' that he was the all around squarest boy
the' was. I didn't cork up any natural eloquence I happened to have,
an' I was some sorry 'at ol' Hammy couldn't have heard that plea. It
was dramatic, an' I'll bet money