As long as that beloved boy lived, I scrupulously kept
up Catholic appearances. The imposture revolted me, but the interest of
my son was concerned.

"'When they killed him, this deceit became insupportable to me. I was
watched, accused, and condemned as relapsed. My property has been
confiscated, and I am sentenced to the galleys.

"'Tis a terrible time we live in! Misery and servitude! sanguinary
despotism and religious intolerance! Oh, it is sweet to abandon life!
sweet to rest and see no more such evils and such sorrows!

"'In a few hours, I shall enjoy that rest. I shall die. Let me think of
those who will survive--or rather, of those who will live perhaps in
better times.

"'Out of all my fortune, there remains to me a sum of fifty thousand
crowns, deposited in a friend's hands.

"'I have no longer a son; but I have numerous relations, exiled in
various parts of Europe. This sum of fifty thousand crowns, divided
between them, would profit each of them very little. I have disposed of
it differently.

"'In this I have followed the wise counsels of a man, whom I venerate as
the image of God on earth, for his intelligence, wisdom, and goodness are
almost divine.

"'Twice in the course of my life have I seen this man, under very fatal
circumstances--twice have I owed him safety, once of the soul, once of
the body.

"'Alas! he might perhaps have saved my poor child, but he came too
late--too late.

"'Before he left me, he wished to divert me from the intention of
dying--for he knew all. But his voice was powerless. My grief, my regret,
my discouragement, were too much for him.

"'It is strange! when he was convinced of my resolution to finish my days
by violence, some words of terrible bitterness escaped him, making me
believe that he envied me--my fate--my death!

"'Is he perhaps condemned to live?

"'Yes; he has, no doubt, condemned himself to be useful to humanity, and
yet life is heavy on him, for I heard him repeat one day, with an
expression of despair and weariness that I have never forgotten: "Life!
life! who will deliver me from it?"

"'Is life then so very burdensome to him?

"'He is gone. His last words have made me look for my departure with
serenity. Thanks to him, my death shall not be without fruit.

"'Thanks to him, these lines, written at this moment by a man who, in a
few hours, will have ceased to live, may perhaps be the parents of great
things a century and a half hence--yes! gr