,
that I was going to throw myself at her feet: from that day she has
placed an entire confidence in me, she has done nothing without
advising with me, and the intimacy and union between us still subsists.

III

"In the meantime, however busy and full I was of my new engagement with
the Queen, I still kept fair with Madam de Themines by a natural
inclination which it was not in my power to conquer; I thought she
cooled in her love to me, and whereas, had I been prudent, I should
have made use of the change I observed in her for my cure, my love
redoubled upon it, and I managed so ill that the Queen got some
knowledge of this intrigue. Jealousy is natural to persons of her
nation, and perhaps she had a greater affection for me than she even
imagined herself; at least the report of my being in love gave her so
much uneasiness, that I thought myself entirely ruined with her;
however I came into favour again by virtue of submissions, false oaths,
and assiduity; but I should not have been able to have deceived her
long, had not Madam de Themines's change disengaged me from her against
my will; she convinced me she no longer loved me, and I was so
thoroughly satisfied of it, that I was obliged to give her no further
uneasiness, but to let her be quiet. Some time after she wrote me this
letter which I have lost; I learned from it, she had heard of the
correspondence I had with the other woman I told you of, and that that
was the reason of her change. As I had then nothing further left to
divide me, the Queen was well enough satisfied with me; but the
sentiments I have for her not being of a nature to render me incapable
of other engagements, and love not being a thing that depends on our
will, I fell in love with Madam de Martigues, of whom I was formerly a
great admirer, while she was with Villemontais, maid of honour to the
Queen-Dauphin; I have reason to believe she does not hate me; the
discretion I observe towards her, and which she does not wholly know
the reasons of, is very agreeable to her; the Queen has not the least
suspicion on her account, but she has another jealousy which is not
less troublesome; as Madam de Martigues is constantly with the
Queen-Dauphin, I go there much oftener than usual; the Queen imagines
that 'tis this Princess I am in love with; the Queen-Dauphin's rank,
which is equal to her own, and the superiority of her youth and beauty,
create a jealousy that rises even to fury, and fills her