d irremediable
loss, I must compromise with the other parties at once, who not being
advised of the true state of affairs, and having but little faith in
their own case, had long ago expressed their willingness to accept the
sum of a hundred thousand dollars as a final settlement of the
controversy. My agent, if none too nice in his ideas of right and wrong,
was, as I have intimated, not the man to make a mistake; and when to my
question as to how long a time he would give me to look around among my
friends and raise the required sum, he replied, 'Ten hours and no more,'
I realized my position, and the urgent necessity for immediate action.

"The remainder of the night is a dream to me. There was but one source
from which I could hope in the present condition of my affairs, to
procure a hundred thousand dollars; and that was from the box where I
had stowed away the bonds destined for the use of the Japha heirs. To
borrow was impossible, even if I had been in possession of proper
securities to give. I was considered as having relinquished speculation
and dared not risk the friendship of Mr. Stuyvesant by a public betrayal
of my necessity. The Japha bonds or my own fortune must go, and it only
remained with me to determine which.

"Paula, nothing but the ingrained principle of a lifetime, the habit of
doing the honest thing without thought or hesitation, saves a man at an
hour like that. Strong as I believed myself to be in the determination
never again to flaw my manhood by the least action unworthy of my
position as the guardian of trusts, earnest as I was in my recoil from
evil, and sincere as I may have been in my admiration of and desire for
the good, I no sooner saw myself tottering between ruin and a compromise
with conscience, than I hesitated--hesitated with you under my roof, and
with the words we had been speaking still ringing in my ears. Ona's
influence, for all the trials of our married life, was still too strong
upon me. To think of her as deprived of the splendor which was her life,
daunted my very soul. I dared not contemplate a future in which she must
stand denuded of everything which made existence dear to her; yet how
could I do the evil thing I contemplated, even to save her and preserve
my own position! For--and you must understand this--I regarded any
appropriation of these funds I had delegated to the use of the Japhas,
as a fresh and veritable abuse of trust. They were not mine. I had given
them