n their celibate contemporaries. Often bled white by
self-sacrifice, they have always learnt a little of the world's lesson,
which is to know how to live without happiness. They may have been
vampires, but they have not gone to sleep in the cotton wool of their
celibacy. Even hateful, the other sex has meant something to them. It
has meant that the woman must hush the children because father has come
home, but it has also meant that she must change her frock, because even
father is a man. It has taught the man that there are flowers in the
world, which so few bachelors know; it has taught the woman to interest
herself in something more than a fried egg, if only to win the favor of
her lord. Marriage may not teach the wish to please, but it teaches the
avoidance of offence, which, in a civilization governed by negative
commandments, is the root of private citizenship.
2
For the closer examination of the marriage problem, I am considering
altogether one hundred and fifty cases; my acquaintance with them varies
between intimate and slight. I have thrown out one hundred and sixteen
cases where the evidence is inadequate: the following are therefore not
loose generalizations, but one thing I assert: those one hundred and
sixteen cases do not contain a successful marriage. Out of the remaining
thirty-four, the following results arise:
Apparently successful 9
Husband unfaithful 5
Wife unfaithful 10
Husband dislikes wife 3
Wife dislikes husband 7
Success is a vague word, and I attempt no definition, but we know a
happy marriage when we see it, as we do a work of art.
It should be observed that when one or both parties are unfaithful, the
marriage is not always unsuccessful, but it generally is; moreover,
there are difficulties in establishing proportion, for women are
infinitely more confidential on this subject than are men; they also
frequently exaggerate dislike, which men cloak in indifference. Still,
making all these allowances, I am unable to find more than nine cases of
success, say six per cent. This percentage gives rise to platitudinous
thoughts on the horrid gamble of life.
Two main conclusions appear to follow: that more wives than husbands
break their marriage vows, and (this may be a cause as well as an
effect) that more wives than husbands are disappointed in their hopes.
This is natural enough, as nearly all women come ignorant to a state
requiring cool know
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