nger spat viciously, missing the spittoon by inches.

"There ain't no pleasin' you," continued Bindle, digging into the bowl
of his pipe with a match stick. "You ain't willin' to die for your
country, an' you don't seem to want to live for the twins."

"Wot's the use o' twins?" demanded Ginger savagely. "Now if they'd
been goats----"

"Goats!" queried Bindle.

"Sell the milk," was Ginger's laconic explanation.

"They might 'ave been billy-goats," suggested Bindle.

Ginger swore.

"Well, well!" remarked Bindle, as he rose, "you ain't never goin' to
be 'appy in this world, Ging, an' as to the next--who knows! Now I
must be orf to tell Mrs. B. wot they been a-doin' to 'er lodger.
S'long!"

And he went out whistling "I'd Never Kissed a Soldier Till the War."

II

"Where's Mr. Gupperduck?"

There was anxious alarm in Mrs. Bindle's interrogation.

"Well," responded Bindle, as he nodded to Mr. Hearty and waved his
hand to Mrs. Hearty, "I can't rightly say. 'E may be 'appy with an
'arp in 'eaven, or 'e may be a-groanin' in an 'ospital with a poultice
where 'is face ought to be. Where's Millikins?" he demanded, looking
round.

"She's with her Aunt Rose," wheezed Mrs. Hearty.

"What has happened, Joseph?" faltered Mr. Hearty.

"Well, it ain't altogether easy to say," responded Bindle with
aggravating deliberation. "It ought to 'ave been a peace-meetin',
accordin' to plan; but some'ow or other things sort o' got mixed. I
ain't seen a scrap like it since that little bust-up in the country
when the lemonade went wrong."

Bindle paused and proceeded to refill his pipe, determined to keep Mr.
Hearty and Mrs. Bindle on tenter-hooks.

"Where is he now?" demanded Mrs. Bindle.

"Can't say!" Bindle sucked at his pipe, holding a lighted match well
down over the bowl. "I see 'im bein' taken orf on a stretcher, an' wot
'e was wearin' wouldn't 'ave made a bathin' suit for an 'Ottentot."

"Did they kill 'im, Joe?" wheezed Mrs. Hearty.

"You can't kill coves like Guppy, Martha," was Bindle's response.
"'E's got more lives than a rate-collector."

"What happened, Joseph?" said Mr. Hearty. "I had meant to go to that
meeting myself." Mr. Hearty made the statement as if Providence had
interposed with the deliberate object of saving his life.

"Lucky for you, 'Earty, that you didn't," remarked Bindle
significantly. "You ain't no good at scrappin'. Well, I'll tell you
wot 'appened. Guppy seems to 'ave said a little too m