The Project Gutenberg EBook of Master of None, by Lloyd Neil Goble

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Title: Master of None

Author: Lloyd Neil Goble

Release Date: December 2, 2008 [EBook #27383]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

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[Illustration]

MASTER OF NONE

BY NEIL GOBLE

The advantages of specialization are so obvious that, today, we
don't even know how to recognize a competent syncretist!

Freddy the Fish glanced at the folded newspaper beside him on the bench.
A little one-column headline caught his eye:

MYSTERIOUS SIGNALS
FROM OUTER SPACE

"Probably from Cygnus," he said.

Freddy mashed a peanut, popped the meat into his mouth, and tossed the
shell to the curb in front of his bench. He munched and idly watched two
sparrows arguing over the discarded delicacy; the victor flitted to the
head of a statue, let go a triumphant dropping onto the marble nose, and
hopped to a nearby branch.

"Serves him right," Freddy said. He yawned and rubbed the stubble on his
chin. Not yet long enough for scissors, he decided. He pulled his feet
up on the bench, twisting in an effort to get comfortable. The sun was
in his eyes, so he reclaimed the discarded newspaper and spread it over
his face. His eyes momentarily focused on MYSTERIOUS SIGNALS FROM OUTER
SPACE, right over his nose.

"Sure, Cygnus," he muttered, and closed his eyes and dropped off to
sleep.

When he was awakened, it was by an excited hand shaking his shoulder and
a panting, "Freddy! Freddy! Lookit the Extra just came out!"

Freddy slowly sat up, ascertained the identity of the intruder and the
fact that the sun was setting, and said, "Good evening, Willy. Please
stop rattling that paper in my face."

"But just read it, Freddy," Willy shrieked, waving the paper so
frantically that Freddy couldn't make out the big black headline.
"'Positive contact from another planet,' the guy was yellin'. They put
out an Extra so I snitched one from the boy. Read it to me, huh, Freddy?
I'm dy