I watch for her. And it will be finished.

"But I weep. My eyes have caught his trick. I weep for her. Do you
understand this? My beautiful one whom I disgorged. Yes, Rita. I die
with love of her. I kneel by the bed that knew her. Whisper back to me,
Mallare, that I am mad. And I will laugh. But without you I grow too
small to laugh.

"There is pain in the shadows. I ask, where am I? Go way, then, Mallare.
Leave me. I persist without Mallare. I remain. Let me dissolve into
this. Let me sprawl before the door of enchantments. It is illusion.
Let it be. She will come out. Rita, my vanished one, come back to me.
It is I who ask. Not the Cold One, not the Indifferent One, not Mallare.
But I ... I.

"I will hold you in my arms. I will feed your mist with kisses. My body
will warm you. I will be kind. I am not Mallare. He is gone. He hides.
He will not come back. I will kneel before the door that sings with you.
I am mad with love. See, Rita, I am like Goliath. My eyes roll. I am mad
and you may come to me without fear.

"Windows break in me again. I remember this from long ago. Hey, you
blubbering one! Do you want me! Hey, you brother sniveler, come back! I
laugh. Do you understand this? A laughter without definitions. Ah,
forgive me. You sat and wept and I scolded. Come back and sit again. I
will fall at your feet. Your eyes asked that. But now--where are your
feet? There is no shape. How am I to know where? Come back. Here, sit in
this chair beside me. God! In silence, I utter my name. But it is a
name that has flown away, flown away.

"Hey, you, bring me my name. The little name, the one that made a
pantomime on your lips. The one that stared at me with letters. Bring me
my name, I will understand its meaning. My other name has flown away.
Listen. Let me whisper. Bring it to me and I will place it like a gate
before the door of enchantments. I will kneel to it. Windows break in my
head. Mallare ... are you Mallare? No, you are this. You are a babble of
words that stands on its nose.

"Laugh at me, Mallare. Let me hear your laugh far away. Or I go. Listen,
Mallare. I turn my back on this darkness. I do not kneel at empty
couches. No. I wait for you. You were my God. You, the One who
contemplated. Yes, my arms are out to You. Come ... a whisper out of
silences. Hey, Mallare. I dissolve. I become a little phantom. A useless
little phantom. I drift like Rita. And they attack me. Hands, voices and
trembling ones. They