sheaves of legs between him and the
empty mattress assigned for his use. In his dejection of spirits it
was a comfort to find that none of his future comrades turned a head
to observe him. He cast himself down on the mattress and gave vent
to a profound sigh.

"Alas, Sophia!" he ingeminated, "how liable to misconception--though
doubtless wise on the whole--are the rulings of Providence, which in
one short hour has torn me from your soft embrace to follow a calling
which I foresee I shall detest!"

Unluckily this emotion, though warranted by his circumstances, proved
too great for the ready-made suit which he wore. At the first sigh
two buttons burst from his jacket, one of which flew a full twelve
inches and gently struck the cheek of a Dutch sergeant who was taking
forty winks upon the adjacent mattress.

"Vat the devil for?" exclaimed Sergeant Klomp, opening his eyes and
glaring upon the recruit.

"I beg your pardon," said Tristram.

"Zat was in fon, hey?"

"On the contrary--"

"Vat for, if not?"

"It was accidental, I assure you. I was unbosoming myself--"

"So; I will deach you to onbosom yourself of his Majesty's buttons.
Agsidental! You shall not be agsidental to me!" Sergeant Klomp
rolled his eyes, and, picking up his cane, which lay beside him, rose
to his feet and advanced with menace on his face.

Tristram hastily applied his syllogism. "It is right," he said to
himself, "to resist when molested in a peaceful occupation.
Sighing is a peaceful occupation. Therefore I must resist this man."
In obedience to this valid conclusion he hit Sergeant Klomp in the
stomach as he advanced, caught the cane out of his hand and
belaboured him the entire length of the gun-deck. It was impossible
to do this without discommoding the legs of the company and annoying
them beyond measure. And consequently, at the end of ten minutes,
Tristram found himself in irons in the lazarette, condemned to pass
the night with two drunken men, whose snores were almost comforting
in the pitchy darkness; for, as he told himself, human propinquity,
if not exactly sympathy, is the first step towards it. He had been
listening to this snoring for four hours, when a hatchway above him
was lifted, and a lantern shone down into the lazarette. It was
carried by a corporal, who came cautiously down the ladder, lighting
the footsteps of an officer who followed and held a handkerchief to
his nose, for the smell of the bilge was o