ier hastily explained.

"Ah!" said the Emperor with a sigh of relief, "that reassures me." And
amid profound excitement he embraced the soldier, pinned the coveted
badge to his breast and bade him quickly return to the front to carry on
the great work.

"The next reward is for resource in emergency," said the master of
ceremonies an hour or so later.

He beckoned to a superb officer, splendid in his trappings--a blue-eyed
colossus of nearly six-feet-six.

"This highborn Captain," said the Vizier, "snatched some women from
their beds and pushed them before his men so that the enemy should not
shoot."

The hall resounded with applause.

"'Twas a brilliant thought," said the Emperor. "Not only will we
decorate him for intelligence, but for valour."

"The last is for chivalry, Sire," said the master of the ceremonies,
indicating the remaining award.

An officer stood forth.

"This warrior," said the Vizier, "ordered his men to trample down some
public flower-beds in the enemy's capital."

"Bravely done," said the Emperor. "A great and imaginative lesson. We'll
learn them to resist invasion!"

Amid renewed demonstrations of loyalty and fervour the Emperor brought
the proceedings to a close.

"Among so many deeds of valour," he said, "I find it impossible to say
which is the most splendid. All are glorious. I am in a position to
assure you that Heaven is proud of you. The Fatherland also is proud of
you, and, above all, I am proud of you. May the blessings of Heaven
continue to fall upon our great and merciful campaign for the right!"

With these words the proceedings terminated and the heroes hurried back
to the fighting line, eager to win more laurels by similar feats of
culture.

* * * * *

SIDELIGHTS ON THE WAR.

It is frequently remarked that the present war will be far-reaching in
its consequences. The truth of this is apparent from the following
notices, gathered at random from the column of "Personal Paragraphs"
which the Editor of _The Shrimpington-on-Sea Gazette_ publishes weekly,
without charge, thereby earning the reputation of a patriot:--

IN CONSEQUENCE OF the present crisis in the Money Market, Mrs. Pincham
desires to give notice that she hereby disclaims all liability for any
debts contracted by her at Bridge, and the same will not be paid.

THIS IS TO SAY THAT, owing to the war and my pocket-money being stopped
because I broke the dining-room window, if