LF COURSE.

[Illustration: MEHMED OF TURKEY DRIVES OFF FROM THE FIRST TEE.]

Like the enemy, Mr. Punch also has projected himself "in front of the
front," and, in a moment of prophetic inspiration, anticipated the
following account, from the pen of his Special Correspondent, of a
_post-bellum_ competition on the St. Helena links:--

"The life of our royal captives in the internment camp at St. Helena
is the subject of a report from the Governor of the Island, which was
issued last night as a Purple Paper. The Governor, after dealing with
general matters, writes:--

[Illustration: CROWN PRINCE "THROWS BAG OF CLUBS AFTER THE BALL."

'In the interests of health I have permitted the less exalted members
of the camp to lay out a small golf course within the enclosed area,
and yesterday the links were declared open, the ceremony taking the
form of a four-ball competition, in which the German CROWN PRINCE was
partnered with FRANCIS-JOSEPH of Austria against FERDINAND of Bulgaria
and MEHMED of Turkey. Although present at the proceedings I feel that
I cannot do better than include in my report an account of the contest
which appeared in _The St. Helena Sentinel_.'"

Extract from _St. Helena Sentinel_:--

"_Internment Camp, 3 p.m._--CROWN PRINCE, who plays slashing reckless
game, takes honour at first hole (Liege to Loos), hooks at right
angles, dents two spectators, and ends up in Aisne Bunker. FERDINAND
(canny, cautious type of player) hits a wind-cheating screamer
which finished fully forty yards from the tee. Critics differ as to
FRANCIS-JOSEPH's shot, and it is still a moot point whether he had a
species of fit or was simply trying to follow through. When restored
to perpendicular was found to have ball deeply embedded in his person.
Disqualified for handling. MEHMED (a left-hander; uses clubs with
scimitar-shaped shafts) puts his drive over short slip into the
club-house kitchen. C.P., after converting Aisne Bunker into mine
crater, picks up. M., hopelessly bunkered in the Irish Stew, also
picks up. F. holes out in a stealthy nineteen. Bulgar-Turk Combine one
up.

_2nd Hole_ (_Ypres Salient--120 yards pitch_).--FRANCIS-JOSEPH,
strongly urged by Czech backers to use his foot instead of his clubs,
heels out in seventeen and squares the match. (Sensation.)

_3rd hole_ (_Czernowitch to Brest-Litowski_).--CROWN PRINCE, taking
the Przaritczow-Blokhod-Strypovitchi line, puts long-range shot into
the Pripet Marches. MEHM