vigilantes put after a horse thief once in Montana, and they
landed on him in a butt-end canon, and there was all the stock with
the brands on 'em as big as a patent medicine sign, as the lad
hadn't had time to stop for alterations.

"'Well,' says they, 'what have you got to say for yourself?' He
looked at them brands staring him in the face, and he bit off a
small hunk of chewing 'Ptt-chay!' Says he, 'Gentlemen, I'm at a
loss for words!' And they let him go, as a good joke is worth its
price in any man's country. I'm in that lad's fix; I ain't got the
words to tell you how seriously drunk I was on that occasion. I
remember putting for what I thought was the hotel, and settling
down, thinking there must be a lulu of a scrap in the barroom from
the noise; then somebody gave me a punch in the ribs and says,
'Where's your ticket?' and I don't know what I said nor what he
said after that, but it must have been all right. Then it got
light and I met a lot of good friends I never saw before nor since;
then more noise and trouble and at last I woke up.--in a hotel
bedroom, all right, but not the one I was used to. I went to the
window, heaved her open and looked out. It was a bully morning and
I felt A1. There was a nice range of mountains out in front of me
that must have come up during' the night. 'I'd like to know where
I am,' I thinks. 'But somebody will tell me before long, so there
is no use worrying about that--the main point is, have I been
touched?' I dug down into my jeans and there wasn't a thing of any
kind to remember me by. 'No,' I says to myself, 'I ain't been
touched--I've been grabbed--they might have left me the price of a
breakfast! Well, it's a nice looking country, anyhow!' So down I
walks to the office. A cheerful-seeming plump kind of a man was
sitting behind the desk. 'Hello!' says he, glancing up and smiling
as I came in. 'How do you open up this morning?'

"'Somebody saved me the trouble,' says I. 'I'm afraid I'll have to
give you the strong arm for breakfast.'

"He grinned wide. 'Oh, it ain't as bad as that, I hardly reckon,'
says he. He dove into a safe and brought out a cigar-box.

"'When a gentleman's in the condition you was in last night,' he
says, 'I always make it a point to go through his clothes and take
out anything a stranger might find useful, trusting that there
won't be no offence the next morning. Here's your watch and the
rest of your valuables, including th